What NOT to say at a funeral (humour)

• I should have said something earlier... but I really, really need his kidney.
• Down in front!
• Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon.
• Better him than me.
• Pick it up - I've got Zumba at 4.
• Whoa. I didn't know we were supposed to dress up.
• You look like you've seen a ghost.
• Did he pay you to come, too?
• Who's the dead guy?
• Is that my beeper - or is he still wearing his?
• See, kids? This is what God does to the bad ones.
• How much for the long black coffee table?
• Can I put my drink here?
• Get up, Jimmy! It's not funny anymore!
• Eeewwww! What cheap flowers!
• Is the karoake after this part?
• He won't be needing that tie anymore, will he?
• Got any smack?
• He looks so peaceful... you'd never know he's burning in Hell right now.
• Does anyone have dibs on his parking space?
• He never liked you.
• Stall long enough, and you never have to return their tools.
• Finally, I can get a picture of him with his mouth shut. Say "cheese".