Got some questions about Digital Legacies? We all have one.

Speakers at the Digital Legacy Conference 2018

The Digital Legacy Conference, chaired by Jennifer Muldowney aka The Glam Reaper. Jennifer gave an overview of the subject of Digital Legacy and a summation of each speakers anecdotes rounding the conference to a close.
Jennifer Muldowney, Tedx survivor, author of book ‘Say Farewell Your Way’, event planner and spokesperson worldwide on death, funerals and end of life planning. She has been called a ‘refreshingly honest voice of the funeral industry’ and become the go to ‘Irish celebrity’ of the funeral world. Her blog, Facebook and Twitter accounts help her to help others as she forms the bridge between the often scary idea of funerals and the misconceptions and questions of Joe Public. She is a presenter on the ‘Farewell’ vlog where she provides information about funerals, memorials (both pet and human), life/bucket-list planning and encourages pro-active and creative funeral planning. Her voice has been published worldwide, including a Tedx talk about grief and the critically acclaimed ‘Before I Die’ book by fellow Ted Speaker Candy Chang.


Key Note Speakers: Facebook's Shelby and Kim explored the policy and product design behind Facebook’s Memorialization and Legacy Contact capabilities.

Shelby Lindblad is a Product Designer at Facebook working on issues related to memorialization. Prior to joining Facebook, she worked at Method, a global design firm with clients such as Google, HP, and the San Francisco Ballet.

Kim Malfacini is Associate Manager of Product Policy at Facebook, the team responsible for developing Facebook’s Community Standards governing what is and is not allowed on the site. Kim focuses on stakeholder engagement, ensuring Facebook’s policies are informed by experts across the globe.

James Norris is the one who brought it all together. He is the founder of the Digital Legacy Association, The Digital Legacy Conference and DeadSocial. James’ goal is to help raise awareness and provide support around digital end of life planning. James explored how the Digital Legacy Association innovate with healthcare, social care, legal and funeral professionals to evoke behaviour change and develop best practice. He also relaunched DeadSocial, planning app for the Digi-conscious.

Dr. Carla Sofka is a Professor of Social Work here in Siena College, NY. A former medical and hospice social worker, she has been teaching death education courses since 1993. Carla coined the term “thanatechnology” in 1996 to describe the role that online resources were playing in death education and grief counseling and co-edited the book Dying, Death, and Grief in an Online Universe.

Carla used this experience to tell us how technology is changing grief and the ways in which we grieve.

Lee Poskanzer is the CEO of Directive Communication Systems. He has been successfully leading product innovation change at Fortune 500 companies including American Express, Safeway, PolyGram and Staples that have evolved to becoming industry standards and practices.

Did you know the average person has over 150 online accounts? And that number is expected to grow to over 200 in the next year. Lee presented on how financial and sentimental online property can easily be hidden, lost or forgotten about. He told us about new and existing privacy laws, along with Terms of Service Agreements (that we all agree to) that can prevent access to much needed information.

Antonio Estevan Huerta is a singer/songwriter and avid marathon runner from Texas who brought us a beautifully REAL penned letter to David Bowie from Palliative Care Doctor Mark Taubert. David Bowie died from Liver Cancer in January 2016. Antonio’s father, also named Antonio, died from the same tragic disease in the summer of 2018.

Stephen Hans is a licensed funeral director and owns and operates Hans Funeral Home in Albany, New York. He is a member of the New York State Funeral Directors Association. 

Stephen focussed on what he knows best - the funeral profession and research carried out in NY around death and digital legacy.

What is our Digital Legacy?

1.8 million facebook users will die in 2018.

Gone are the days that the attic stored thousands of photos and letters and memories. These are all online now in email accounts, on Facebook, Instagram, in clouds and elsewhere. These photos, videos, tweets, blogs and emails are digital or online assets that may have significant value for family and friends of the deceased.

On October 27^th 2018 in Albany, New York, The Digital Legacy Conference took place, which brought together an eclectic group of academics, industry professionals and experts from around the world with a view to raising industry standards, sharing best practice and engaging with the subject of death and digital.

In a study, published in the journal NATURE HUMAN BEHAVIOUR, data from more than 15,000 social media networks of people who died were examined during a 4-year period. They examined how people interacted on those networks both before and after a death. The result was that people are indeed now grieving ONLINE and use online channels to stay connected to networks of the deceased. Online death needs to be addressed, both in terms of our legacies left online, how we grieve online and how people can be negatively affected by online trolling during times of grief.

The idea of using your phone to take ‘selfies’ with an app that has features like dog-faced filters and an obsession with hot dogs and glittery halos seems to go against the etiquette of a typical funeral. But these times, they are changing and funeral etiquette is evolving and revolving around social media as is the case with all celebrated life events like weddings, bar mitzvahs etc

Funerals and funeral planning have taken on an entire new meaning as people factor in online social identities and ways of communicating a moment of loss around the world.

Funeral homes have had to ‘get with the times’ as they try to hold fast to their historically steady business. Digital marketing for them can mean moving forward and engaging with their customers on a whole other level not before seen in the death business OR online can mean negative reviews and stale websites and pages because if you choose to go online, as we all know, it is a full time commitment. Facebook pages and Instagram accounts cannot be started and just left to ‘do their own thing’. A carefully strategized digital communications plan can boost awareness of your funeral home, dispel myths of the grim reaper and show the general public the true heart of a funeral home. People buy from people, people whom they know and trust and this is no different in the death business.

Millions attended Whitney Houston's funeral and listened to "I will always love you" as her body left the local church. Just recently the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin exited stage left in front of millions all around the world in a four day funeral extravaganza. The church had set up a huge screen to livestream the service at a local gas station parking lot for her local community.

EVERYONE can be let in to experience these historically selective events.

When it comes to celebrities, the public want closure, according to the Famous NYC Funeral Home to the Stars – Frank E Campbell. The funeral home stood as a backdrop to those who came to mourn Heath Ledger in NYC in 2008. 

The intense dedication and unity of the mourners, the familial connections felt for people they have never met, the volatility of grief was apparent for all to see and this is not just reserved for Heath Ledger and his fans but to every "celebrity" or person in the public arena. 

They need to be a part of that life that they have never touched personally, individually, privately, and in person — but through the media, through television, through the movies, it was very much a part of their growing up and their life. They want closure. People from every walk of life."

And we have almost all become celebrities in our own right. A teenager today can have over 1000 friends on Facebook and yet a baby boomer may have only ever had 5 friends growing up, it puts it all into a weird perspective.

Snapchat, YouTube and Twitter have also made us much more comfortable with sharing intimate details about ourselves online with strangers on a constant basis. Many deaths and funerals are reported, commented on, tweeted, snapped, recorded and posted online before even their loved ones have heard of the news. This poses positive and negative repercussions. A number of people are finding out about friends and family members deaths via social media. An emotional blow and not purposefully revealed to cause pain but none the less this is a new trajectory to navigate.

An entire new industry has been created with our Digital Estate in mind – these days there is such a thing as digital executors, Digital estate planning, post death planning, online memorials, QR codes for headstones, cemetery mapping, virtual attendance at funerals, life after death in the form of holograms and so on. This industry will only increase as more and more innovation surrounds the death industry in the digital space.

Preparation for end of life has also gone digital with Google recently announcing a new AI tool that is able to predict the death of hospital patients with 95% accuracy, palliative care with digital music therapy to help slow breathing rates, ease anxiety and soften the path to end of life.

Bob Dylan said it best :

Come gather round people, wherever you roam

And admit the waters around you have grown

Accept it that soon youll be drenched to the bone

If your time is worth saving then you better start swimming

Or you’ll sink like a stone

For times they are a changin’

Considering a DIY Funeral?

Not a task to be undertaken lightly, a DIY funeral (or, more accurately, a do-it-at-home funeral) can be a very personal experience but also a very difficult process. I suggest that if itis something you wish to do, do it with the help and advice of a good funeral home. I would advise also that this is something you plan ahead for (before the person dies).


A few things to note:
• A body can – and probably will – leak bodily fluids if not properly prepared;• If you wish for the body to be stored at home until the service, the family will need to keep it in a ventilated and cool room;
• A number of factors affect the speed of decomposition, even if the body is kept in a cool place. Be prepared for this;
• Embalming is not a legal requirement (In Ireland) unless the body is leaving the country. However, embalming is sanitary and preserving and allows the body to be presentable for viewing. Only a professional embalmer should do embalming;
• You can make or purchase your own coffin. Walmart and Costco in the US now sell coffins online. In the UK, William Warren (www.williamwarren.co.uk) provides instructions to make a bookcase, called ‘Shelves for Life’, based on your measurements, which can be turned into a coffin upon your death (more on that in a separate post)
• You will have to take care of certain issues that the funeral director typically deals with, such as booking the slot at the crematorium, appointing a priest or another person to deliver the service, arranging transport for the coffin, and grave-digging if a burial is involved;
• You cannot legally bury a body anywhere in Ireland. You must get permission first from your local County Council to do so, and approval from a Health Inspector to avoid human remains from polluting the water systems, etc;
• If you are opting for cremation after the DIY service, check with the crematorium that they will accept the body as you have prepared it. Some crematoriums may have an issue accepting bodies that are not in a coffin bought from an undertaker or arrive other than by hearse.

Something Beautiful Remains

Something Beautiful Remains

by Martha Vashti Pearson

 The tide recedes, but leaves behind

Bright seashells on the sand.

The sun goes down but gentle warmth

Still lingers on the land.

The music stops and yet it lingers on

In sweet refrain.

For every joy that passes

Something beautiful remains.

Dr Ken Murray "doctors die, they don't die like the rest of us"

An article by Dr. Ken Murray, an American general practitioner:

"It's not a frequent topic of discussion, but doctors die, too. And they don't die like the rest of us.

What's unusual about them is not how much treatment they get compared to most Americans, but how little. For all the time they spend fending off the deaths of others, they tend to be fairly serene when faced with death themselves. They know exactly what is going to happen, they know the choices, and they generally have access to any sort of medical care they could want. But they go gently.

 Of course, doctors don't want to die; they want to live. But they know enough about modern medicine to know its limits. And they know enough about death to know what all people fear most: dying in pain, and dying alone. They've talked about this with their families. They want to be sure, when the time comes, that no heroic measures will happen - that they will never experience, during their last moments on earth, someone breaking their ribs in an attempt to resuscitate them with CPR [cardio pulmonary resuscitation] (that's what happens if CPR is done right).

Almost all medical professionals have seen what we call "futile care" being performed on people. That's when doctors bring the cutting edge of technology to bear on a grievously ill person near the end of life. The patient will get cut open, perforated with tubes, hooked up to machines, and assaulted with drugs.

Some medical personnel wear medallions stamped "NO CODE" to tell physicians not to perform CPR on them. I have even seen it as a tattoo. To administer medical care that makes people suffer is anguishing. Physicians are trained to gather information without revealing any of their own feelings, but in private, among fellow doctors, they'll vent. "How can anyone do that to their family members?" they'll ask. I suspect it's one reason physicians have higher rates of ... depression than professionals in most other fields."

Celtic Life and Celtic Marketplace Lombard, Chicago

Delighted to be interviewed by Celtic Life Magazine for the Celtic Marketplace Show in Chicago. Woo!

See interview here or text below:


"All good things must come to an end, and thus it is for the Celtic Marketplace Trade Show in Lombard, Il, which wraps up today. What better way to say goodbye than with Jennifer Muldowney, whose Dublin-based company Farewell Celtic Ashes offers a range of unique Irish memorial products to connect the Irish American community with their ancestry and loved ones. Read more here!

What is your own heritage/ethnic background?
I am Irish born and bred! I lived in the States for two years but most of my life I have lived in my hometown – Dublin, Ireland. I would be considered very ‘Irish looking’ too so I can’t deny my background. Although red hair is associated with Irish people, most of us are made up of dark hair, blue eyes and pale white skin.

How did you get involved with the business?
So the idea of my business of Irish cremation jewelry started when I lived in the States and my grandmother passed away. I couldn’t get home for her funeral. I was devastated. She had given me a miraculous medal when I was younger as most Irish Catholic grandmothers did to keep us safe and pure. I began to wear it as my way to keep her close and watching over me. However I started getting comments and attention about it that I didn’t want. This drove me to look for something more intimate. When my dog passed away four years ago, we got her cremated and my mother said she wanted her buried with her when she died. I was sad because I wanted to have a piece of my dog too as I considered her my pet. So these two experiences led me to Farewell Celtic Ashes. There are two types of piece – fused and encased. Fused pieces involve using some cremated remains and fusing them with glass and colour if requested. The ashes create a beautiful cloud like affect within the glass. The encased collection is a little more obvious as you can see the ashes moving around within the glass, almost like an hourglass.

Are these all the same reasons that you keep doing what you do?
Absolutely. I couldn’t do what I do without emotion, empathy and a love of the original concept. I understand people’s grief, their need for something to hold onto and the connection they want to maintain, even in death. I have written a book on funeral planning in Ireland called Say Farewell Your Way and it is through researching the book and working with people planning their own funerals or who are dealing with a death that I have heard truly amazing stories, seen amazing acts of human kindness and shared beautiful memories. This drives me forward.

What are the challenges?
The challenges in Ireland is the funeral industry and the fear of trying something new and different. Americans are very different to work with in terms of that as they are more open to new ideas and concepts. Is cremation jewelry a little bit creepy and morbid? Maybe, it depends how you look at it. I like to think it gives everyone an opportunity to keep a part of someone they love with them always. It also works well if family and friends live all across the globe and so will not have a chance to visit a burial site on a regular basis. Also if someone’s last wish was to have their ashes scattered, it can be hard not to have some place to ‘speak to’ the deceased. Cremation jewelry helps with that.

What are the rewards?
Wow, the rewards for me are definitely the stories I hear and knowing that each and every one of my customers walks away with a completely unique Irish memorial piece that means the world to them.

Who is your typical client?
I wish I had a typical one! I don’t. Age, race, sex, nationality are all massively varied in what I do because death and therefore grief does not discriminate.

What are your core products?
The fused and encased glass pendants although we regularly do bespoke pieces for people.

What distinguishes you from you competition?

What distinguishes us is our customer service and attitude and the fact that we are Irish – when you send a us the small piece of your loved one’s ashes – we only use a small piece to make the pendent so we will scatter the remaining ashes in Ireland, that way, a little piece Grandad (or whoever) gets to go back home tot he motherland.

What are your future plans for the business?
I have written a book about funeral planning in Ireland – Say Farewell Your Way and I have 3/4 more books up in my head that I would like to start getting out over the next 5 years. One will very much be of benefit to the Irish Diaspora worldwide. With regards the jewelry we are currently working on a men’s bracelet and a Christmas piece. There will be more products added to the lines over the next year. We have also launched a pet specific website – rainbowbridge-memorials.com

How has the Celtic marketplace evolved in recent years?
This is my first year at Lombard but it is an excellently run show so I look forward to coming back and seeing how it evolves from now on!

Why is Lombard an important event for you?
I did Secaucus in April and so Lombard seemed like an obvious follow up event for us but I really like the intimacy of the show – its a lot smaller than Secaucus.

Are we doing enough to preserve and promote Celtic culture generally?
I think we could all do a lot more. There are some fabulous business ideas out there and I know there are some groups that really push the Celtic culture but I think there is always room for improvement.

What can we be doing better?
That’s a tough question especially because I am still getting to know the various Celtic publications, events, trade shows, products and services so maybe come back to me on that next year!!

www.celtic-ashes.com"

Before I die.... TED talk

No Fifty Shades of Grey here

Image from Mail Online

The Queen of girly Irish fiction - Maeve Binchy died last night 30th July aged 72 years. A journalist, short story writer and best-selling novelist, she was famous for her warm stories about love, life and relationships. A far cry from the more recent bestsellers like Fifty Shades of Grey. You could almost describe reading one of her books as being with a good friend; you laughed, you cried, experienced romance, everyday life and all the baggage that comes with it. Trending all over the internet, she has received kind words from all over the globe and from every walk of life. Sounds about right.

• She wrote her first novel at the age of 43
• A journalist at the Irish Times, she eventually became its women’s editor
• Her first novel - Light a Penny Candle was published in 1982
• She had 16 novels translated into 30 languages
• Sold 40 million copies worldwide
• One book was developed into the 1995 film Circle of Friends starring Minnie Driver and Chris O'Connell
• She was born in Dalkey in Co Dublin and studied at UCD
• She announced her retirement in 2000
• But her last novel Minding Frankie was published in 2010
• She received a lifetime achievement award from the Irish Book Awards in 2010
• Throughout her career she made Britain's top 10 most popular writers, the New York Times' Best-seller List and even appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

RIP Maeve, you deserve it.

Nora Ephron Memorial

Nora planned every detail of her funeral including the location, who was going to speak and even how much time each speaker would get! She filed the plans in a folder marked “exit”. 


Here is/was the lowdown:


Venue: Alice Tully Hall of Lincoln Center 
When: 11:30AM Monday 9th July 2012
Music: "It's a Beautiful World" and "As Time Goes By" and many more.
Drink: Reception of pink champagne post memorial
Theme: FOOD!


Order of service/ Memorial booklet: Each one housed a torn out page from one of Nora's collection of recipes to go to the 800 odd people who were in attendance!


Film/Tribute: Actors performed sketches, musicians sang and they even introduced clips from some of Nora's films.


Attendees: Sons - Jacob and Max Bernstein, Martin Short, Delia Ephron, Richard Cohen, Mike Nichols, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, Rosie O'Donnell, J.J. Sacha, Annette Bening, Diane Sawyer, Martin Scorcese, Stephen Spielberg, directors Jack O'Brian and George Wolfe, gay activist Larry Kramer, Meg Ryan, Sally Field; Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt, media mogul Barry Diller and his wife, designer Diane Von Furstenberg, Joel Klein, the head of News Corp.'s education division; playwright-screenwriter Tony Kushner; writer-director James L. Brooks; Barbara Walters; Steve Martin; Mayor Michael Bloomberg; Larry David; Kristen Chenoweth; Diane Sawyer, Matthew Broderick; Martin Short and Martha Stewart, Charlie Rose, author Gay Talese; Tina Brown; Gayle King; and Gail Collins and David Carr of the New York Times among the attendees. phew!!!

Public Funerals Case: Mandela

Unfortunately, the death of Mandela is going to be one of the biggest things to have ever happened to the world in the last couple of decades. 


Sure, we have had both celebrity and political figures pass away and massive funeral coverage as a result but Mandela is a world-renowned figure. 


Mandela's high profile will mean massively sought-after coverage of his final days.


However, there must be a balance between keeping the public informed and allowing his family grieve. 


Certain media houses have already begun preparation for the inevitability of his death. 


As a global figure, a man of the people and a symbol for freedom, how far are we, the public entitled to go?

5 Regrets of the Dying

In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware, who worked in Palliative Care, describes some common 'regrets' that surfaced with patients as they neared their final days:

• I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 
• I wish I didn’t work so hard. (mostly from male patients)
• I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
• I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
• I wish that I had let myself be happier.

A final Farewell to Ned Kelly

The 19th-century bushranger Notorious Ned Kelly will get a final farewell at a private funeral 130 years after he was hanged in a Victorian jail for shooting a policeman. This week, Kelly's family received the news they were hoping for - that his last wish to be buried with his family would come true.

But as in his short life, there is controversy in his death. His grave will no doubt attract tourists from far and wide and fans of his story and the books and films that his story is depicted in, will have an interest in visiting his final resting place too. A legendary and almost mythical figure, Kelly is regarded by some as a down and out thief and murderer but according to fans of the legend, he was a champion of the underclass in an unforgiving society.

Think Ahead Project 2011