Home of The Glam Reaper Podcast/Blog looking at all aspects of life, love, loss, through the lens of funerals. SHOP MERCH https://the-glam-reaper.printify.me
Recently Oprah posted an article about dealing with people who are grieving. Here at The Glam Reaper (And Muldowney Memorials) we understand grieving to be loss of any kind - watch my TedTalk to hear my view directly.
Loss can be the loss of a job, a partner (death/divorce), a child (death/divorce/emancipation/distance/kidnapping), a pet (death/stolen/divorce), an object that was stolen or a home that was ransacked or just simply sold. It can be a myriad of things and more so we need to be gentle with each other and with ourselves on how we deal with others who are grieving.
“the most visited page (on his website grief.com) is the ‘Best and Worst Things to Say’ to people in grief, and it is most visited in the middle of the night….This tells me that people are up, trying to figure out the right words.”
*altered slightly, as we dont agree 100% with everything suggested in the article
Don’t avoid the topic.
They haven’t forgotten the loss, they never will. Avoidance doesn’t help, it just ignores the elephant in the room. If it's a person or a pet - use their name. Recall memories naturally. The love is still there, that doesn't go away.
Don’t “bright side” the situation.
I confess that sometimes I have to stop myself from being a ‘positive polly’ with friends because, like most of us when a friend is in pain, we just want to make them feel better. This can have a time and a place and there is no harm in asking when in doubt. Listening is the best tool you can be armed with as a friend, and if you listen well, you'll hear the right moment (if one comes) to help them focus on the future or the best.
Offer tangible support
"I can bring your dinners on these days, is that helpful?"
"Let me walk your other dogs/feed your other pets for you next week"
"Can I bring you to the courthouse/cemetery one of the days this week?"
When you go blank, just be honest.
“I just don’t know what to say”
"I have no clue what this pain must be like but tell me, if you want. I'm here to just sit with you"
"I wish I had some words that would help"
Say nothing, just BE with the person. Physical contact can also help when permitted.
None of this is easy or is there a perfect way to go about it. It's rough no matter what information you are armed with. There is a lot on Kesslers website I personally disagree with and he is a 'specialist' so all that tells me is reaffirming that GRIEF IS UNIQUE and completely personal and individualized. There is no right or wrong way but merely helpful information and knowledge we can arm ourselves with to help BE there for our loved ones who are going through it.
A play by Kim Kalish at the Cell Theatre in New York City, part of Origin Theatre Company’s 1st Irish Festival 2023
The funny thing about death? You might be thinking, well there is no such thing. Death is not funny; it is not something to be found comical; to be laughed at. But for the storyteller, writer and performer Kim Kalish, it wasn’t that death was, or is, funny - her situation and experiencewere absolutely heart breaking - but it is how she coped with death - her grieving.
Kim used what was familiar to her; creativity, theatre and humor to help process the massive burden of grief. Humor was her coping mechanism. We see all of this in her spine-tingling, attention grabbing and captivating performance. In her own words, she was a theatre kid and that is how the bond blossomed between her and the love of her life - Patrick Michael McMurphy.
I had the privilege of sitting in the front row of her show, to feel the rawness and realness of her story, her wit and her emotions. We, the audience experienced the heaviness of her struggles but the essence of joy in finding true love at such a young age. I could feel my throat muscles tense and cave in at spells throughout the hour-long performance, while my eyes glassed over with both tears of sadness and laughter.
Their love story was a “showmance”, as Kim recalls. It sounded like the typical perfect Romcom.
Kim was only 23 years old when death came knocking at her door in the form of her best friend Andrea, ‘Andy’. You see, death has no timeline; it does not care what time of the day, or what day of the week it is. It does not care if you are busy making plans for the future, or just hungover on your couch in the same outfit as the night before (as Kim was). It just comes knocking. Knocking when it is greedy for another life to take.
Professionals have termed The Five Stages of Grief as DABDA:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Kim touches on this topic in the play, but listed them in the wrong order. At first thought, I presumed it was an error on her part. Later in the play she states that “Grief is not Linear, it is not a lifestyle change, nor is it a fad diet!”. It was at that point that I understood why she changed the order of stages. There is no order to death or grief. No single individual experiences these stages in the same pattern, what may be the second stage for one person is the first for another. Anger may consume a griever initially before denial sets in. When Kim received the news of her soulmate, love of her life, expected life partner’s death; she accelerated through all 5 stages of grief in just one moment.
She was both in denial and angry at her friend for saying such a thing, she bargained with her to take the news back; that the news she shared wasn’t funny. It was only when Andrea turned her head, in anticipation of Kim’s palm approaching her cheek to slap her, did Kim comprehend the reality of the situation. She fell to the ground in depression and shock, once the truth was accepted. Andrea was right there with her, cradling her.This is a true testament to friendships and the community we create for ourselves. When someone we love dies, our community and support is everything. Andrea was by Kim’s side for a week solid, so much so that she hadn’t showered and started to smell. This is how selfless her dear friend was.
You see, Kim was on suicide watch at her mother’s request. The uncertainty of what Kim may do was the main concern. She claimed she was fine, that she was OK, not to worry about her. This was absolutely not the case; Kim went back to work two days later! Kim's mother wanted her to eat, in fact insisting that she ate! That is how she showed her love.
In life, we all have different avenues of expressing and showing our love. When Patrick was alive, he used to express his love by showing up for Kim when she needed him most. He appeared at Kim’s apartment in the middle of the night as her knight in shining armor. Like most typical college kids, Kim was procrastinating on her senior year thesis. She frantically typed in the final 24 hours before it was due. She typed so hard and so fast that her laptop and thesis flashed and smoked before her eyes. When she lay in a fetal position thinking it was all over; there Patrick Michael McMurphy was to save the day.
Fast-forward and Kim was still not OK, and that is OK, she recounts two years later, with Patrick’s anniversary looming. She was dating again. Kim forewarned her date that it might be a difficult time for her and she didn’t know how she would behave. He exclaimed, “You’ll be OK though right?!”. Kim felt that her date’s question was a way of protecting himself against the possibility that she might not be OK. Asking someone if they will be ok, is like saying “time heals all wounds.” Words like those take away from the griever and their grief.
“It’s OK not to be OK” is a slogan used by Hope For The Day. This is a non-profit movement empowering the conversation on proactive suicide prevention and mental health education. There is no shame in admitting you need help, love or support. Please, if you are reading this; reach out to someone that is worrying you, seems reserved or you feel is alone with no support. Or, just reach out to friends and family and tell them you love them!
This is a message that Kim leaves her audience with. For it was only at Patrick’s funeral that Kim discovered SHE was the definition of true love to him; not a Billy Joel song as she had once believed. He told a friend that true love was knowing what your partner needs before they know it themselves. She was who he wanted to be with and he was going to ask for her hand in marriage! But Patrick never got a chance to tell her before his tragic death.
So, can I leave this with you? whom do you need to contact? Who would appreciate hearing your voice at the other end of the phone? Do not procrastinate like Kim, writing her college thesis. Who needs to hear the words today from your heart, “I love you”?
In today’s episode, we will be focusing more on grief. As we are all aware, thanks to the last 2 years with COVID, some of us experienced grief from a loss of a loved one due to COVID-19 and some were separated for a very long time because of lockdowns and travel bans. I speak with a gentleman living in Isral, Irad Eichler, who has a charity named Seven Chairs now called, Circles who wants to end the loneliness in the world. A big goal I think you will agree!!
We all know in the funeral community how difficult it can be in the winter months for those who are grieving. Grieving alone, grieving with family, grieving at work, grieving during Christmas and now grieving in COVID times where even if we WANTED to we can’t reach out for a hug or call into an elderly neighbour.
I often get asked what makes for a good GIFT for someone who is grieving and, honestly, the person grieving will adamantly say the greatest gift would be their loved one’s return but sadly we can’t do that so we can do the next best thing which is to show our support in some shape or form. I have compiled a shortlist of unique sympathy gifts that might help you to help your own individual grieving communities.
1 - A Memory Tree/Plant: Planting a tree/plant can be a beautiful way to honour the memory of a cherished family member. I know some companies that are eco-conscious already provide this but dropping off a small sapling or seed kit to someone’s door to plant in their loved one’s honour is a beautiful symbol of strength and healing. Once dropped off, you could follow up with a video call explaining your reasoning and offer to help them to plant it when they have chosen the resting place of the tree.
2 - A Charity Donation: Small or large, money typically does not matter when it comes to grief and/or charitable donations. It is the thought that counts. A charity donation can be a great way to honour the memory of a person who has passed away. If the family needs help with setting up a foundation or a fund in honour of the deceased, you could offer assistance there too. Pledgeling is a great company to help with this.
3 - A handcrafted wind chime: A beautiful addition to anyone’s porch or back door are chimes and they can be crafted in many forms which could be personalized using the materials, decoration and sounds. How beautiful to wake in the morning to the sound of chimes that remind you of your favourite person while you enjoy your morning coffee or tea.
4 - Starting a neighbourhood memory book: Purchasing a beautifully bound book with empty pages begging for stories and photos and memorabilia from the neighbourhood and/or community of the deceased. It starts with you, includes a letter with instructions and once complete send it off to the next person. Once it returns to you, have it wrapped and presented to the family or loved one you had in mind. What a treasure.
5 - Trinkets, Ornaments or Frames: Depending on the deceased, a small trinket or ornament or particular frame might be perfect to show their family you are thinking of them. It is a perfect one for this time of year to remember a loved one during the Christmas season. Newbridge Silverware do beautiful small ornament frames that hold a passport-sized photo, Farewell Celtic Ashes offers personalized ornaments that house the ashes of the deceased (pet/human) or paperweights with the deceased’s photo inside. I worked with a family whose mother adored angels and fairies of all kinds so each year they receive one to decorate their Christmas tree in her memory from a family friend.
What a true gift that friend is!
Stay safe and take care of each other is the greatest gift you can give.
So it finally happened, a dream come true, another bucket list item ticked off, a career milestone, a personal mountain conquered – I finally stood on a Ted stage and did a ‘Ted Talk’ and boy, did it not disappoint!
Anxious and stressed in the days leading up to it, I was frequently frustrated with people dismissing my worries with a typically Irish phrase for dealing with things “Sure you'll be grand, not a bother to ya” and an emphasis on my perceived confidence. I say perceived because apparently, I give off an impression that nothing fazes me and have an almost uber confident aura. Nothing could be further from the truth. Aside from the weeks of stressing that my speech wasn’t ever going to be good enough, my message not clear enough, 5 minutes wasn’t long enough, 5 minutes was too long, my attire too bright, my attire not bright enough, my topic too boring, my story not relevant or that ill probably fall on my ass while walking on stage, they were minor to the 24 hours leading up to the ‘talk’.
I was working from home, finalizing orders, new designs, writing and analyzing blogs, sending out press releases etc etc, all in a days work…, when I got a call asking me to come into Newstalk (Irish Radio Station) for a radio interview. ‘Brilliant’ I say and accept wholeheartedly, excited for the opportunity. I hang up and immediately think F@£K what did I do that for, that’s gonna raise the anxiety levels a few notches…NOT something I need the night before my talk. As I usually do, I think feck it, roll with it, go with the flow. Running out the door I decide I should use the bathroom really quick – nothing worse for your nerves than shaky legs! Stupidly forgetting my phone was in my back pocket, my lovely iPhone gets acquainted with the toilet bowl water and dies stone dead. JUST when I needed it most. No time to think, I run out the door to Newstalk, the interview goes well, I cry, Ivan(presenter) doesn’t and the show goes on – apparently, the Hard Shoulder should be called the Cold Shoulder (I love my fellow pet loving community!).
I arrive home to some seriously fabulous family news and I cry all over again, by now I am an emotional wreck! Sleep comes hard and fast that night thank god but I wake early next morning (D Day!) to messages from friends cancelling their spot in the Ted audience, which although understandable, sends me into another emotional downward spiral of feeling let down, not important enough, not good enough, all of which are untrue but still weighed me down. Then to add further woe, I slick on some facial moisturizer that I use every day and break out in huge red blotches all over my face. NOT a good look.
An antihistamine, a chat with mom and an old boss later and I'm standing in the dressing room doing final prep work for Ted. I slick on a bit of red lipstick, put on my grim reaper cloak and a quick blur later and I'm walking off stage to rapturous applause, a WOW from the compare and I'm buzzing with endorphins and YESSSSSS I did it vibe.
Like practically every bucket list item I have ticked off, part of the joy ride is the pre event tears, tantrums, and anxieties but after every single one – running a marathon, writing a published book, skydiving, moving countries the absolute buzz of having accomplished something I only dreamed possible and the wonderful feeling of having pushed myself to my (deemed) limits, I ALWAYS always feel so unbelieveably proud and can smile knowing that from this day forward, I did this and no one, not one person can ever take away the fact that I did it and as that old crooner would say, I certainly did it my way ;-)
ACTUAL footage of me talking Ted ;-)
Prepared transcript of speech->
My name is Jennifer and I am fascinated with funerals.
THROW OFF CLOAK
Not what you were expecting?
My nickname is the Glam Reaper, aptly named for my weird interest in the funeral business but unlike the idea of that grim reaper cloak I try to bring love and life to the death business.
Today I want to share with you a story that I have not typically shared when interviewed.
Rewind to 8 years ago. I had just come home from Cuba. Holiday of a lifetime.
To bad news.
She had had a stroke. Several actually.
Me and my family had a big decision to make.
A decision between life and death.
We brought her to the hospital clinging on for dear life.
She had a little bit of food stuck to her nose.
She was so innocent and vulnerable.
Once so full of life. She just lay there. limp.
me and mom hugged each other as we watched as the light leave her eyes. She never took her eyes from ours.
PAUSE
Now let me tell you that this lil lady was my best friend, she was my confidente, I could have told her anything and she would have wagged her tail, licked my wounds and encouraged me to go for a walk!! Yes folks I have been talking about my dog
Does your perception of the story change?
Do you have any less sympathy for me?
Some of you probably even said “Oh for god sake its just a dog!!’
And I get it. But FOR ME. At that time. she was my whole world.
We'd been through childhood, the terrible teenage years when you feel the whole world is against you right through to adulthood.
Zero judgement, unconditional love every single day.
In interviews I have always been careful not to compare the loss of a dog to the loss of a human for fear of judgement.
So I buried my grief. And I'm not alone.
I've recently talked to a number of people who also experienced grief judgement.
People who lost uncles that were like dads.
Cousins who were like brothers.
All felt uncomfortable in their grief for fear of judgement.
Grief is uncomfortable enough without the added weight of protecting ourselves from judgment. From friends. From family. From colleagues. From strangers.
Loss is LOSS
Who are we to judge ANYONE who is grieving.
We all grieve differently. A set of twins who lose their mother will grieve completely differently.
Grief is as unique as our heart beat, our DNA, our fingerprint.
Who are you to judge?
If I lose my mother and you lose your mother, will we grieve the same?
No way my moms the best and because I love my mom more than you!!
What??
I am not you, I don’t know what your grief is to you.
What it feels like every day.
To wake up with it in the morning. Fall asleep with it that night.
There should be no judgment, no men don’t cry, no time limit on it.
Its YOUR grief.
PAUSE
Do you like my necklace? You probably can't see it right now but
This beautiful necklace around my neck contains the ashes of that beloved dog Roxy.
I bet your judging me now! Crack pot!
I created this jewellery with that ‘lack of judgement’ in mind after my granny died.
She had given me a miraculous medal as most Irish grannies did to keep me whole and keep me pure ;-)
When she died I wore it as a way to remember her but of course I was young and trying to fit in.
Suddenly I was a ‘holy joe’ or the ‘virgin mary’.
So much so I took it off.
I specifically designed these pieces NOT to broadcast what they are, they don’t scream HEY I HAVE SOMEONES ASHES AROUND MY NECK!
Because grieving is personal and if I want to share I will and If I don’t I wont.
I don’t need your judgment.
There is no blue print for grief, I have yet to meet two people who have grieved the same.
So tonight, today, tomorrow, next week, lets go easy on each other, and lets simply STOP judging each other.
DO ensure that pets always have identification.
DON'T keep pets outdoors during Halloween and the weeks running up to it as people start letting off fireworks earlier than Halloween night.
DO talk to your vet if your pet gets very scared from fireworks as there is a variety of treatments and medications that can help.
DON'T dress animals up in costumes as many pets find this uncomfortable and stressful.
DON'T take pets trick-or-treating.
DON'T let animals near bonfires, candles or other dangerous items.
DO make sure that rabbits and other caged animals are safely secured in a garage or outbuilding.
DO keep pets away from Halloween decorations and tell children not to share any sweets and chocolate with their pets.
DO take a pet suspected of ingesting a harmful item or substance immediately to a vet.
DON'T ignore animals in need. Report animal abuse and neglect immediately.
Although Roxy was ‘just a dog’, and she died over 8 years ago, recalling her last day still feels heartbreaking for me. In fact, it was one of the worst days of my life and inspired my New York/Dublin based pet memorial business Rainbow Bridge Memorials and my upcoming Tedx Talk in Tallaght on October 12th.
She was 16, quite old for any dog, and she’d had a series of strokes. I had just returned from the holiday of a lifetime in Cuba and when I arrived home Roxy came running out, as usual, to say hiiiieeee. Sadly everything wasn’t usual though - I knew something was wrong. Four hours and another stroke later we were taking her to her death. We had her for 16 years; she was part of the family. She was my best friend through childhood, teenage years and adulthood. I felt like I was betraying her.
I am not alone. My deep emotions regarding the day Roxy was euthanized strikes a familiar chord with just about anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet to euthanasia/putting a dog to sleep.
I often ask myself did we do the right thing, could she have gotten better or was she ok with going. Her eyes never left mine as she died. And then afterwards, people just don’t know what to do with me, there’s no funeral or blueprint to follow. I felt awkward calling into work asking for some time off. I felt my friends looked at you thinking “Just get over it's only a dog” especially if they had suffered had human loss. It seemed self indulgent to even think of mourning a pet when faced with human loss so feelings get hidden and grief gets buriedit'.
Ireland is changing when it comes to pet loss as we see recognition of the grief people experience when a beloved pet dies where we never saw it before. There are helplines offering support and a listening ear, discussions about pet bereavement days at work. You can buy pet condolence cards, memorial jewellery. Pet funeral businesses are flourishing - pet cemeteries and pet crematoriums with pet specific caskets, urns and keepsake jewellery.
One study by the Funeral Co-op in the UK found that more than a quarter of respondents had found their pet’s death as difficult as the death of a family member, and a third thought it was on a level with the loss of a friend. Nearly half of the bereaved owners were still mourning after two months, and 16 percent were struggling a year later.
While it might seem self-indulgent or the ‘world gone mad with millennials’ by older generations to mourn the loss of a pet or compare it to the loss of human life, to some it can be just as heartbreaking. All loss and grief is important and essential experiences of the human psyche but grief that is dismissed by others can be more painful still.
Pets are often with us 24/7, reliant on us for food, water, exercise, and survival. They become our confidantes and in some cases have been known to prevent suicidal thoughts and help with mental illnesses. Here is a living being who will not judge, reprimand, or dismiss your thoughts, actions or feelings and yet when they pass the loss can be dismissed as ‘just a dog’.
Irish milliner Philip Treacy lost his Jack Russell, ‘Mr Pig’ in 2004; ‘I saw Mr Pig as my friend, not my dog. He was my everything; he was like my child. He was by my side, day and night, for 12 years. How many humans could you say that about?’ Treacy even went on to compose a book Dog Stories, which is an anthology of stories of well-known people (Lady Annabel Goldsmith, Sir Jackie Stewart, Lord Hattersley, Anna Pasternak, Petronella Wyatt, Edward du Cann and Tom Rubython) and their dogs. They recount the adventures of their pets, and the happiness and ultimate sadness they brought to the lives of their owners.
I used my grief to build a business helping others to grieve and started a company called Rainbow Bridge Memorials that has a base in Dublin and New York, offering condolence cards, pet conscious cards and memorial jewellery but it is more than just a business, It has become an online community. We have a Facebook page where people will often post about their pet or their grief and others chime in and offer support. We all know the sadness of pet loss and the difficulty in speaking about it to others who don’t have pets. The emails I receive from my clients about my jewellery often overwhelm me as they tell me how much it helps them in their grieving process and some of the emails were heartbreaking to read. It brought the loss of Roxy up all over again but I guess I started the business because when we lost Roxy, I still wanted her with me every day and wherever I go and with the jewellery I can do that and it helps. <3
This October the Irish Hospice Foundation holds its Forum on 'End of Life’ which will reveal interesting findings of Ireland's 'Have Your Say' survey (held last year) where thousands of people across Ireland shared their personal thoughts on dying, death and bereavement. Main findings show people fear 'dying in pain' and want dignity, comfort and care at end of life. People worry most about their family and bereavement support.
“You and I get only one chance to die and 2,500 people had their say last year on what makes a good death. By sharing their thoughts they are helping us create an Irish charter on death, dying and bereavement. We believe in quality end-of-life care, supporting each person to live as well as possible to the end and enabling those left behind to grieve well. We are looking forward to revealing all survey findings on October 10th at our Forum,”
Angela Edghill, Advocacy, and Public Engagement Manager, Irish Hospice Foundation.
“Conversations around death are never easy but people are more than willing to share their views when asked. They only need to be encouraged. This is the aim of Forum 2017 ‘Your Life, Your Death, Your Say – allowing the conversation to continue about dying, death and bereavement in Ireland’.
“Our last Forum was fully booked attracting 350 people from all walks of life. This year the inspirational Justice Catherine McGuinness will speak about human rights at end of life. RTE Broadcaster David McCullagh will chair a panel discussion on pain, grief, and dignity. Panellists include Senator Marie Louise O’Donnell, Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh, and Dr. Tony Foley. Keynote speaker is Professor Jenny Kitzinger from Cardiff University who co-directs the ‘Coma and Disorders of Consciousness Research Centre’ and she will examine the challenges around how decisions are made when the patient has lost the ability to make choices for themselves,” said Ms Edghill.
Forum 2017 includes several workshops such as ‘Children Grieve Too’, ‘Supporting Staff through Loss and Bereavement’ and ‘Planning for your Future: What Should we Ask Ourselves?’
Attendees will hear people’s views on a range of issues such as challenges facing health professionals when discussing pain, treatment decisions, death, grief, dignity and caring for people at end of life.
The event takes place in Dublin Castle on Tuesday 10th October from 9am – 4pm and all are welcome. Early registration is advised. Tickets are €60 including lunch and refreshments with €30 Concession tickets (limited availability for students, non-working, and senior citizens). Online registration is at hospicefoundation.ie or call 01 679 3188.
Brooke Shields, longtime friend of Michael Jackson, delivers this emotional eulogy at his public memorial service on July 7, 2009.
“smile though your heart is aching”
So last night (July 1st 2014) RTE (I believe in association with the Irish Hospice Foundation) showcased a documentary on death, dying, loss, grief and the Irish.
I was very excited to see this documentary, albeit a little frustrated that I didn't get interviewed or asked my opinion or to participate in any way shape of form. As someone who has been a point of contact for many of the papers and radio djs when it comes to the subject of death and considering how much of a spotlight I have put on the subject with my book, my blog, the press received and my approach to it on social media - I really think having a completely independent (of any supplier) young person give their take on preplanning would have added substantially to the documentary but then this is RTE we are talking about here.
As I have said time and time again, in Ireland, historically, we dealt with death quite well - in fact we are world renowned for our wakes but in the last couple of decades we seem to have lost this fantastic 'celebration of life' in favour of a more demure and sad 'mourning of a death'.
The Irish Hospice Foundation do fantastic work and when I needed some questions answered at the time of my book (Say Farewell, Your Way) writing, they obliged. I (very clearly) have an avid interest in Funerals and Funeral Planning and I had hoped this documentary would start a conversation on twitter, on facebook, online in general and around the dinner table. I think it will start SOME conversations for sure and if it does that, then it has succeeded. But what I saw (and I could be wrong) was merely people like me and the IHF and people who worked for the IHF and in the death industry talking online. This was, for me, sad to see. It shows that we still have a way to go to get the Irish talking openly about death, dying and loss.
My other 'grip' as such with the show was the TYPICAL Irish media personas that appeared throughout and even the fact that Norah Casey presented it. Now I liked Norah on the Dragons Den (so much so I approached her outside it with the original Funeral Planning idea) but with most Irish Celebrities her 'brand' has been diluted so much that she doesn't necessarily bring anything to a show anymore. I know this might sound harsh because I understand why she was involved in the show and from that point, interviewing her ON the show would have been imperative but for her to present the show did not make sense to me. Then there was the scattering of Irish celebrities throughout.....personally I enjoyed the real-life 'nobody' stories alot better. That lady Noreen was fantastic - more airtime for her please.
All in all I am delighted the show presented this topic to the public in such a way and at a vital air time (although the world cup games may have filtered a little). We NEED to talk about death openly, honestly and more often. It WILL happen to all of us at some stage and so lets put into place as much of a plan as we possibly can to make that easier on us and our loved ones. I really hope to see more shows like this in the future.
Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela 18 July 1918 - 5 December 2013
Former president of South Africa (1994-9) and an anti-apartheid revolutionary and politician, he was the first black South African to hold office and is often described as "the father of the nation".
His government focused on dismantling the legacy of apartheid through tackling institutionalised racism, poverty and inequality, and fostering racial reconciliation. Politically an African nationalist and democratic socialist, he served as the President of the African National Congress (ANC) from 1991 to 1997. Internationally, Mandela was the Secretary General of the Non-Aligned Movement from 1998 to 1999.
After the National Party came to power in 1948 and implementing their policy of apartheid, he rose to prominence and working as a lawyer, he was repeatedly arrested. In 1962 he was arrested, convicted of sabotage and conspiracy to overthrow the African government, and sentenced to life imprisonment.
Mandela served 27 years in 3 different prisons. An international campaign lobbied for his release and was finally granted in 1990 after which he soon became president and implement anti apartheid laws.
Internationally, he acted as mediator between Libya and the United Kingdom in the Pan Am Flight 103 bombing trial.
After his presidential term he refocussed his efforts on more charitable work in combating poverty and HIV/AIDS through the Nelson Mandela Foundation.
He received international acclaim for his anti-colonial and anti-apartheid stance, having received over 250 awards, including the 1993 Nobel Peace Prize, the US Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Soviet Order of Lenin.
