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Wednesday 27 June 2012

What NOT to say at a funeral (humour)

  • I should have said something earlier... but I really, really need his kidney.
  • Down in front!
  • Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon.
  • Better him than me.
  • Pick it up - I've got Zumba at 4.
  • Whoa. I didn't know we were supposed to dress up.
  • You look like you've seen a ghost.
  • Did he pay you to come, too?
  • Who's the dead guy?
  • Is that my beeper - or is he still wearing his?
  • See, kids? This is what God does to the bad ones.
  • How much for the long black coffee table?
  • Can I put my drink here?
  • Get up, Jimmy! It's not funny anymore!
  • Eeewwww! What cheap flowers!
  • Is the karoake after this part?
  • He won't be needing that tie anymore, will he?
  • Got any smack?
  • He looks so peaceful... you'd never know he's burning in Hell right now.
  • Does anyone have dibs on his parking space?
  • He never liked you.
  • Stall long enough, and you never have to return their tools.
  • Finally, I can get a picture of him with his mouth shut. Say "cheese".

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