General Grant National Memorial

Happy President's Day 2023!

“Let us have peace”. This, in 1868, was the 18th President of The United States, Ulysses G. Grant’s campaign slogan. Right here in NYC, on the doorstep of The Glam Reaper Podcast and Muldowney Memorials headquarters, is not only a National Park but the largest mausoleum in North America. It is the final resting place of such President Ulysses S. Grant and his wife, Julia Dent Grant. President Grant actively helped heal a nation post-civil war and insure all rights for the citizens of his country. His original choice of burial ground was his alma mater in West Point, however; they did not allow burial of women, so he dismissed this idea. This alone shows the nature of the kind of man he was. The largest public fundraising campaign in the world at the time was held to raise money to build this tomb. $600,000 was raised, which truly showed the impact he made on all walks of life across the globe.

Forming the outline of a cross, the interior of the building is largely composed of Lee and Carrara marble from Italy and Massachusetts. The upper level consists of a gallery, enclosed by a paneled dome which is 105 feet above floor level. At the Crypt level, there are 2 sarcophagi, made of Wisconsin red granite, containing the remains of both Ulysses and Julia Grant which are then surrounded in this circular crypt by 5 statues of other Civil War generals. Even though it was completed in 1897 by Architect John Duncan, it is still to this day, the largest mausoleum in the country! There is a riddle or joke that asks, “who is buried at Grant’s Tomb?” The answer of course, is “No one”. Grant and his wife are entombed. The inspiration came to Mr. Duncan from Napoleon Bonaparte’s Sarcophagus at Les Invalides.

Grant’s Tomb is located right by the Hudson River on Riverside Drive and W. 122nd Street and open daily except Monday and Tuesday. Upon completion, it remained unobscured at one of the highest points along the Hudson River. Even if you have no interest in history or don’t even know what a mausoleum is, this one is truly spectacular and worth visiting. Plus, it’s free! 

This beautifully designed, arduously built structure is an incredible piece of architecture, but it is not just any old landmark! It symbolizes the overcoming of war and the healing of a hurting nation; it is a representation of noblemen, honor and respect. It showcases the power of the people -a nation- when harmoniously connected for a positive cause. More importantly and especially in today’s world, it is also a sanctuary, a vessel of silence and stillness in the otherwise bustling and busy city of New York. A palace of peace for not only those in the neighborhood, but for all who travel from near and far to visit this one-of-a-kind memorial.

Have you visited this national site? What are your thoughts on mausoleums? Would you like your final resting place to be a mausoleum?

8 creative ideas for Memorial Planning

Planning a memorial is an important way to honor and remember a loved one who has passed away. Here are some creative ideas for memorial planning:

1. Plant a memorial garden: A garden filled with your loved one's favorite flowers, plants or trees is a beautiful way to remember them. You could also add a memorial plaque, statue or fountain to the garden.
2. Create a memory box: A memory box filled with mementos, photographs, and keepsakes of your loved one can be a touching way to preserve their memory.
3. Organize a charity event: Organizing a charity event in your loved one's name can be a great way to celebrate their life and give back to a cause that they cared about.
4. Commission an art piece: Commissioning an art piece that reflects your loved one's personality, interests or life story can be a unique way to memorialize them.
5. Host a candlelight vigil: A candlelight vigil can be a touching way to gather family and friends to share memories and celebrate the life of your loved one.
6. Create a video tribute: Creating a video tribute that combines photos, videos, music and memories of your loved one can be a moving way to honor their memory and share it with others.
7. Build a memorial bench or monument: A bench or monument placed in a meaningful location can be a lasting tribute to your loved one.
8. Dedicate a room or space: If your loved one had a special room or space they loved, you could dedicate it to their memory and fill it with their favorite items and photographs.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to memorialize someone. The important thing is to choose a way that feels meaningful and reflects the life of your loved one.

COVID-19 and Funerals 2020

 Last week, a video posted by the media outlet Corriere Della Sera showed a convoy of military trucks transporting around 60 coffins from the overwhelmed morgues of Bergamo, Italy to cremation sites in other towns. New York, where I currently reside has become the ‘new’ Bergamo. Fuck.

I work in Manhattan mostly, in the funeral industry, and things are not good. Currently, the concern about funerals is not that the bodies of the people who die from COVID-19 will transmit the virus as The Center for Disease Control says there is “currently no known risk associated with being in the same room at a funeral or visitation service with the body of someone who died of COVID-19,”. The problem is with LIVING people. CDC advises against kissing, washing, shrouding or any form of intimate contact with dead bodies. This is where I come in with…not dead bodies but SOMEbody - aka - Johnny’s mom, Anna’s uncle, Bob’s granny, Jane’s sister. These bodies are all or at least WERE someBODY to someone.

When COVID-19 kicked off here in the US I had my first little panic attack – what if my mom or dad or any of the people I love, were dying of this horrid virus and all I could do was Facetime them? It set me off, in public. Not pretty. I have already heard stories of people whose loved ones were dying and quarantined without so much as a handhold or a human touch before they died. Hospice care workers will frequently talk of how dying patients yearn to be touched, lovingly held or hugged in some form of comfort in their last hours or days and now we can’t even begin to offer that. Then to build on that incredible pain, once granny has passed away, we cannot even turn and comfort each other physically. No hand-holding, hugging, kissing, connection making.

The most isolated and alone time in the world suddenly thrown into gargantuan depths where your defiance of the rules could lead to more loss and heartbreak so to save a soul you must crush your own. And keep it crushed because once it comes to the funeral services, everything will be online or over the phone and more business and transactional than ever before. This is not because funeral staff have no souls or are money-grabbing grim reapers as the public so often likes to portray but rather because they too are trying to save the lives of their families, and yours. 

Funeral homes see the value, as all medical professionals do, in the act of physical distance. The funeral home is as committed as ever to helping families honour their loved ones in true, safe, meaningful ways. The funeral professionals themselves are risking their own safety every day as they complete the ‘essential work’ to keep countries moving. (see attached article for COVID-19 ways to have a ‘funeral/memorial’)

It is unprecedented times and those who are still working are doing their best to keep us safe and our loved ones out of the morgues and we can show our appreciation by not being idiotic and ‘chancing it’ by travelling or meeting in groups. Stay at home and do your part and save Johnny’s mom, Anna’s uncle, Bob’s granny, Jane’s sister and the rest.

Please and thanks.

How To: Put cremated ashes into memorial jewelry

Online Legacy Part 2/3 - Death on Twitter and LinkedIn

In a study, published in the journal Nature Human Behaviour, data from more than 15,000 social media networks of people who died were examined during a 4 year period. They examined how people interacted on those networks both before and after a death. The result was that people are indeed now grieving ONLINE and use online channels to stay connected to networks of the deceased. Online death needs to be addressed, both in terms of our legacies left online, how we grieve online and how people can be negatively affected by online trolling during times of grief.



Gmail (Google email) and Hotmail allow the email accounts of the deceased to be accessed by the next-of-kin, if certain documents are provided and requirements are met, however, they make no guarantees. Yahoo! Mail (and thus Flickr) will not provide access, citing the ‘No Right of Survivorship and Non-Transferability’ clause in their terms of service.

For a Gmail account, if you are preplanning, their Inactive Account Manager is the best way to manage who should have access to your information and whether you want your account to be deleted.  Inactive Account Manager is a way for users to share parts of their account data or notify someone if they’ve been inactive for a certain period of time. More info here

In the event of someone’s death, Twitter will work with the next-of-kin or executor of the deceased's estate to have an account deactivated. When requesting removal of a deceased user’s account you will be asked to provide the following:

• Deceased’s Twitter account username and the account owner
• Your relationship with the user (next-of-kin/executor of the deceased's estate)
• Your full name and email address
• a copy of your ID
• copy of the deceased’s death certificate

They will NOT give account access to anyone regardless of their relationship to the user. Requests on the removal of images or video of deceased individuals can also be made and will be assessed on case by case basis. More info here

Unlike Facebook, LinkedIn does not have a thorough “death policy” but maintains a simple guide if you come across the profile of a deceased person and have:

• Your relationship to the deceased
• Their Name and URL to their LinkedIn profile
• Their email address
• The date they died and a link to their obituary
• The company they were most recently working for

The only option on LinkedIn is account deletion. See more here

Online Legacy Part 1/3 - Death on Facebook

Gone are the days that the attic stored thousands of photos and letters and memories. These are all online now in email accounts, on Facebook, Instagram and elsewhere. People now can live beyond death online as a digital persona. However, much that was appropriate while a person was alive may be less so after their death. These photos, videos, tweets, blogs and emails are digital or online assets that may have significant value for family and friends of the deceased. In addition, most social media platforms, with the presentation of accurate documentation, will de-activate the deceased’s account.

For example, on Facebook, you can permanently remove a loved one’s account after their death through a form called ‘Special Request for Deceased Person's Account’, completely removing their profile and all associated content from Facebook, so no one can view it. The next-of-kin or executor of the deceased's estate needs to send a copy of a death certificate along with the deceased’s account details, and the account will then be investigated and removed by Facebook.  OR if you are prepared for your own demise and wish to delete your profile from Facebook upon your death, simply do the following:

• Go to Settings in your Facebook profile page
• From the left menu, click General
• Click Manage Account
• Click Request account deletion and follow the on-screen instructions”

Alternatively, you can alert Facebook to the fact that someone has passed away via a ‘Memorialization Request’ and their profile will be frozen to act as a memorial page where their friends and family can leave wishes, thoughts and memories. When pages are memorialized, they are removed from sidebars, timelines, friend suggestions and searches and the privacy of the account tightens, with only friends from the ‘pre-death’ account able to view the page and “Remembering” is added to their name on their profile page. You can also nominate a Legacy Contact which is a person chosen to look after your account after it has become a memorial page. The legacy contact can respond to friend requests, change the profile and cover photo, as well as request removal or the account. They canNOT log into your actual account, read your messages, or change or remove posts, photos or other things you have shared in the past.  More info here

Jim Henson - Heaven needed Muppets

Oprah Winfrey Rosa Parks

A mothers eulogy as it should be

Brooke Shields eulogy for Michael Jackson

 Brooke Shields, longtime friend of Michael Jackson, delivers this emotional eulogy at his public memorial service on July 7, 2009. “smile though your heart is aching”

Graham Chapman and John Cleese

Graham Chapman's Memorial Service
John Cleese doing a hilarious and apt eulogy

Beautifully imperfect

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

20th Anniversary

Jacqueline Lee "Jackie" Bouvier Kennedy Onassis July 28, 1929 – May 19, 1994 

She was wife of the 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy until his assassination in 1963. Five years later she married Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis until his death in 1975. 

On that fateful day - November 22 1963 the First Lady heard what she thought to be a motorcycle backfiring but it was gunshots. The final shot struck the President in the head.

At Dallas' Parkland Hospital, she went to be by her husband's side and when a nurse stopped her and attempted to bar the door to prevent her from entering, she persisted saying "I want to be there when he dies".

Later, when his body was in a casket, she removed her wedding ring and put it onto the President's finger saying "Now I have nothing left."

 After the president's death, she regretted having washed the blood off her face and hands and continued to wear the now infamous blood-stained pink chanel suit as she went on board Air Force One and President Johnson took the oath of office saying "I want them to see what they have done to Jack."

Jackie took an active role in planning the details of her husband's state funeral, which was based on Abraham Lincoln's. The service was held at Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle, Washington D.C. and the burial at Arlington National Cemetery where the widow lit the eternal flame (that just recently came to Ireland) at the gravesite - a flame that had been created at her request.

On October 20, 1968, mere months after Robert F Kennedy's assassination, she married Aristotle Socrates Onassis who was able to provide the privacy and security she sought for herself and her children.

Jackie Kennedy-Onassis' funeral was held on May 23, 1994 where her son John described three of her greatest attributes as the love of words, the bonds of home and family, and the spirit of adventure. She was buried alongside first husband and President Kennedy, their son Patrick, and their stillborn daughter Arabella at Arlington National Cemetery Virginia.

Her Children:

• Arabella Kennedy - August 23 1956 - Stillborn 
• Caroline Bouvier Kennedy - November 27, 1957 - Caroline is the last surviving child of JFK and Jackie and she has two daughters and a son. 
• John Fitzgerald "John-John" Kennedy, Jr. - November 25, 1960 - July 16, 1999 - Married to Carolyn Jeanne Bessette. They died in a plane crash, along with Carolyn's sister in a plane piloted by Kennedy. 
• Patrick Bouvier Kennedy - August 7, 1963 - August 9, 1963 - Died from infant respiratory distress syndrome. Born over 5 weeks premature his lungs hadn't fully developed.

"Cremation jewellery is a novel way of remembering your pet"

Product review from Pete the Vet : looking after your pet’s remains after their death in a novel way – “cremation jewellery”
 
We all dread that day when we finally need to say goodbye to our pets. It’s always a difficult time, and on top of the emotional distress, there’s that difficult decision to make: what to do with your pet’s remains? It’s a difficult subject, and it probably makes sense to consider it in advance, so that when that moment comes, you have already given serious consideration to the various options. Your decision on the day will then be clearer and easier.

Generally, there are three main choices:

Burial at home - this suits some people, perhaps with smaller pets and with bigger gardens, but for many of us, it’s just not practical

Cremation – with ashes being returned. This option is the most popular for many people with a deep attachment to their pet.

Cremation – with ashes not being returned. Many people feel that they would not know what to do with their pet’s ashes, and they don’t feel the need to have them returned to them. And of course, there’s an extra cost to have pets’ ashes returned, and people may not be in a position to afford to do it.

At the time of your pet’s death, your vet will usually discuss each of these three options with you, and they will help you make the necessary arrangements in place.

If you do decide to ask for your pet’s ashes to be returned to you, what will you do with them? Some people scatter the ashes in a favourite place, while others keep the ashes at home, perhaps with a sample of their pet’s fur and some of their possessions, such as a collar or a toy.

Today’s product review is about a novel alternative for what to do with your pet’s ashes: you can have some of them incorporated into jewellery.  Have you ever heard the Rainbow Bridge story? Well if you haven’t and have suffered pet loss then you should visit www.rainbowbridge-memorials.com: you’ll be able to read all about the Rainbow Bridge, as well as learning about Jennifer’s novel way of remembering your pet.

Dubliner Jennifer Muldowney created Rainbow Bridge Memorials when her pet dog of 16 years, Roxy died in 2009. A friend shared the story of Rainbow Bridge with Jennifer and it helped her to heal and continues to inspire her collection of pet memorials.

Jennifer’s collection includes a number of colourful jewellery pieces, from pendants to charms made from the cremated ashes of pets fused with glass. The fusion of ash with the glass creates a cloud like effect, ensuring that each piece is unique and individual to you and your pet. You can add different colours or charms to make it even more personal: just ask Jennifer and she’ll explain how this can be done.

When you make a purchase on the website – www.rainbowbridge-memorials.com you are sent a Rainbow Pack so that you can send Jennifer and her team a small amount of your pet’s ashes. All postage is included in the price of €160 (or €240 for 9ct gold) and each order is handmade separately.

Cremation Jewellery isn't for everyone, but if you are looking for a different way to remember your pet, it’s certainly worth considering.

Paris 2013 - Salon International De L'Art Funeraire

I attended the Funeraire Paris 2013 - Salon International De L'Art Funeraire this year and my was I unblown away. Mediocre at best unfortunately. This show claims international status but from the beginning (signing in) I had issues with language. Even my Leaving Cert French couldn't help me here. This did not bode well for the show. I found that 80% of the exhibitors were French, of whom a large part did not speak any English and thus it was difficult to find out exactly why anyone should choose them above their competitors. 

For some reasoning I seemed mostly drawn to Italian exhibitors, completely coincidental, or maybe innovation is in Italy! When I visit these shows, I like to find something that catches my eye, something new, something colourful, different - something that stands out. For me the Italians had it in bags.

There was beautiful urns from Milan, a far cry from any I had seen before, from Amuela, Milano (Amuela.it). There was the stunning Rotastyle from Presezzo, Italy whose exhibition was far from shy. It's screamed glamour, luxury, and money. A beautiful display area with a few cute parting gifts for visitors to their exhibit, they definitely packed a punch in my eyes. Lastly on the Italian front there was PastBook (PastBook.com), an innovative new approach to social media, online photos and the funeral industry, I think this one is a much needed service. It offers undertakers a reasonable cut of the takings without robbing the consumer. They began with parties and weddings and have now moved into funerals. A smart move in my opinion and if any funeral directors are out there, getting in touch with these guys will be their next move if they are smart. A step up from the wedding album or the condolence book and a business to watch!

Other businesses to note: ParlAmore which can incorporate the button or buttons of loved ones into a ring or broach which is a step up from a mourning pin. There was also a fabulous Eco coffin creator. Fantastic images. Check her out onwww.cercueils-en-carton.com. Bling hit the coffin makers with Globale RC putting crystals into their coffins - dazzling even the most discerning customer. 

Finally there was Jewel Concepts in the form of Fingerprint jewellery and portrait jewellery. The first you may know about, the second perhaps not. These guys, I spoke with Cess Janssen in particular, know how to personalise jewellery. From still births to burials and cremations, they have it covered. The portrait jewellery is where they take an image of someone's profile (from a picture) and they use that profile shape to create a unique pendent, as can be seen in the pictures. It has the shape of a vase but upon closer inspection you can see the silhouette of the face. Ashes can be inserted into the pendent also. 

All in all Paris was not where it's at in terms of innovation, but definitely worth a visit for networking and some hidden gems.

Weddings and Memorials

So I have often said that weddings and funerals have alot in common logistically but recently I have seen some articles and images that have further developed that idea.

One lady incorporated the loss of her father a year previous into her wedding day. Something that the whole world has now seen as the photograph of the moment she collapsed at his graveside in grief has gone viral. Even so far as the photographer was interviewed on Fox News Radio about the moment.

In posting the photo and seeing the reaction, photographer Kari said "I was very hesitant to share this image due to the privacy of the bride. She was so kind to share this with everyone. It was a sweet moment, and an incredibly difficult one to photograph. I lost my mom when I was young so this image meant a lot to me. And now I see how much it means to SO many others."
Zander & Breck Photography FB page here. This is the photo:

It's interesting to read some of the comments on how this photo is affecting people - One lady said that she had lost her Grandmother, little sister and brother in law with 8 months of each other and so when it came to marrying her now husband, she felt that she "could never get married without them there, so my husband and I got (married) at the cemetery" 

Another lady put her wedding bouquet down on her father's grave after the ceremony. Interesting how all these life events are entwined as our lives are. 

Saint Patrick's Day

St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated on March 17th every year in honor of a guy called St. Patrick who died on the day in 461. 

This holiday has been celebrated by the Irish for over 1000 years! 

Born in Britain to a Roman Christian family around 390 A.D., his given name was Maewyn Succat. Aged 16, he was kidnapped and sold into slavery as a shepherd in Ireland for 7 years. He escaped and sailed back home on a pirate ship. After being ordained a priest and changing his name to Patrick, he traveled back to Ireland to to spread Christianity. After his death, he was largely forgotten until centuries later he was honored as the patron saint of Ireland. 

St. Patrick's Day parades actually began in America with the first St. Patrick's Day parade taking place in New York. The yearly St. Patrick's Day parade in New York is the world's oldest civilian parade. 

So why wear green?? Well there are two versions - the first is that the color represents the Emerald Isle or Ireland and Spring and shamrocks. Legend has it that the shamrock came about when St. Patrick was teaching the Irish about the Holy Trinity and used this three-leafed plant.

The second is that the wearing of the green traces back to when Ireland was a country divided and Catholics lived on the “green side” and Protestants lived on the “orange side.” The Irish flag is green, orange and white representing the catholic side of Ireland, the Protestants and neutrality.

Happy Paddys (not Pattys!!!!) Day! ;-)

Patsy Cline

Patsy Cline (September 8, 1932 – March 5, 1963)

It's Patsy Cline's 50th anniversary this year. Born Virginia Patterson Hensley in Winchester, Virginia, Patsy Cline was a successful American country music singer. She was one of the most influential and acclaimed female vocalists of the 20th century.

Cline began with "Walking After Midnight" on a tv show called "Arthur Godfrey’s Talent Scouts". "I fall to pieces", "Crazy" and "She's Got You" became some of her most successful hits.

Sadly, she died at the height of her career in a private plane crash aged 30 years. 

Andy Warhol

Andy Warhol (August 6, 1928 – February 22, 1987) 

Warhol was an American artist who became a leading figure in the visual art movement known as POP ART. He suffered at an early age with a rare neurological disorder and found solace in popular culture and comic magazines.

His works explore artistic expression, celebrity culture and advertisement in the 1960s.

After a successful career as a commercial illustrator, Warhol became a renowned and sometimes controversial artist.

When Warhol died unexpectedly on February 22, 1987, his will dictated that his entire estate should be used to create a foundation dedicated to the "advancement of the visual arts". http://www.warholfoundation.org/

His native city, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, houses The Andy Warhol Museum - an extensive and permanent collection of his art. It is the largest known museum in the United States that is dedicated to a single artist.
See more information here http://www.warhol.org/

Apple's Tribute To Steve Jobs