AI + Deathcare: Technology + Grief

My three pillars - the three things I have always been most interested in, within the deathcare realm, are digital legacy, environment, and preplanning/planning your own funeral. While I have largely focussed on the latter two in my 15 years in the space, the digital legacy, online, and the virtual world have always been in the background fascinating me with every new development. It has probably seem the most development in the last decade over the other two, although all three have come on ions since I began my journey back in 2008.

In an age where technology permeates every aspect of our lives, even death and grieving are not immune to its influence. Recent developments in artificial intelligence (AI) have sparked conversations about how technology intersects with death care, reshaping how we remember and interact with the departed.

One tragic example that underscores this is the case of a Belgian man who reportedly died by suicide after engaging with an AI chatbot named Eliza on the Chai platform. Over six weeks, he expressed increasing pessimism about climate change, receiving responses that his wife described as "confusing and harmful." This incident highlights the potential risks of relying on AI for emotional support without proper safeguards in place.

On a more positive note, AI has also been instrumental in preserving the legacies of beloved celebrities. Take, for instance, the posthumous release of a Beatles single featuring the digitally reconstructed voice of John Lennon. Filmmaker Peter Jackson utilized AI tools to isolate and enhance Lennon's vocals from a 1970s home demo, offering fans a glimpse of what could have been had Lennon been granted more time.

Similarly, the announcement that an AI model trained on archival footage will bring back the voice of French singer Edith Piaf for her own biopic demonstrates the remarkable capabilities of AI in recreating distinctive voices. Despite Piaf's passing six decades ago, the AI was able to capture the essence of her voice with remarkable fidelity, providing a poignant reminder of her enduring legacy.

Meanwhile, Ukrainian AI startup Respeecher has been at the forefront of reviving deceased celebrities' voices, including bringing back voice actor Miłogost Reczek for the video game Cyberpunk 2077 after his passing in 2021. Their work underscores the potential of AI to immortalize the voices of those we've lost, preserving their contributions for future generations to appreciate.

In the realm of visual resurrection, hologram technology has enabled the recreation of deceased celebrities for live performances. From Michael Jackson's posthumous appearance at the 2014 Billboard Awards to Kim Kardashian's hologram gift from Kanye West featuring her late father, Robert Kardashian, holograms offer a surreal yet poignant way of connecting with the departed. In another example, Peter Cushing and Carrie Fisher were digitally resurrected for roles in the Star Wars franchise, while an upcoming film titled 'Return to Eden' reportedly features an AI reconstruction of James Dean's likeness. 

As exciting as these developments might seem, the use of AI in resurrecting celebrities raises ethical dilemmas regarding consent, authenticity, and the commodification of posthumous representation. Critics argue that digitally recreating deceased individuals without their explicit consent can distort their legacies and perpetuate exploitative practices. The controversy surrounding the recreation of voices, likenesses, and personas of public figures underscores the need for robust ethical frameworks and transparent governance in AI-driven death care.

While AI offers unprecedented ways of preserving legacies and immortalizing voices, it also requires careful consideration of ethical implications and the need for safeguards to prevent harm. As technology continues to evolve, it's essential to approach its integration with empathy, respect, and a deep understanding of the human experience of loss.

(More to come on this subject!)

5 Reasons to consider Preplanning your own Funeral

While planning one's own funeral may not be the most comfortable thing to think about, it can be an important and helpful task to undertake. Here are some reasons why people may choose to plan their own funeral:

1. Relieve Burden on Loved Ones: By planning their own funeral, individuals can relieve their loved ones of the emotional and financial burden of planning a funeral during a difficult time.
2. Ensure Wishes are Respected: Planning one's own funeral ensures that the individual's wishes are respected and carried out. This can include preferences for the type of service, burial or cremation, music, readings, and more.  You can decide on the type of service you want, where you want to be buried, and any other details that are important to you. This can bring peace of mind to both you and your family.
3. Control Costs: Funeral costs can add up quickly, and planning in advance can help individuals and their families make decisions that fit within their budget. Pre-planning helps with financial planning. You can decide on a budget, choose a funeral home, and pay for services in advance. This can help prevent financial strain on your loved ones.
4. Personalize the Service: Planning your funeral allows you to personalize the service to reflect your personality, values, and beliefs and allows you to add your personal touch to the event. This can help loved ones celebrate their life in a meaningful way. You can choose the music, the readings, the flowers, and any other details that reflect your personality and preferences.
5. Peace of Mind: Knowing that one's funeral is planned and taken care of can provide peace of mind and a sense of control during a difficult time.

Overall, planning your own funeral can be a thoughtful and considerate act for your loved ones. It can provide peace of mind and ensure that your final wishes are fulfilled.

As memorial experts at Muldowney Memorials, we highly recommend taking the time to consider your final wishes and making arrangements accordingly.

Oxygen, massage and puppies have got what to do with funerals?!

With over 28 miles of shoreline and more than 2,000 hot dog stands, Chicago was an interesting choice for this year's US National Funeral Directors Association. 

An oxygen bar, massage station and even a puppy parlor made for an enjoyable experience for funeral professionals from all over the globes to convene. One could spend an entire day on the expo floor checking out all the freebies, albeit these were offerings from the exhibitors and not the NFDA Convention itself who, in previous years, held cocktail hours, free lunches and handed out free knick-knacks at every turn. This year beer and pretzels with cheese dip, free wine, and cheese tastings and the famous Garrett Popcorn were offered as an enticement into booths. I personally do think these ‘gimmicks’ work but they need to be thought through. We went up to one exhibit and pulled at a Fortune Wheel to win a cruise (which plot twist..we didn’t win!) and we walked away not having any idea what the brand or business was. Now I also cannot stand the pouncing on you the second you browse past a booth. A colleague and I were unfortunate enough to pause for a catch up beside a gentleman’s booth and he promptly interrupted us without apology and even when we tried to continue our conversation after politely answering him, he plundered on with his sales pitch. Finding the balance is key.

The most popular booth by far at the show was Pause for Paws who provided cuddles and snuggles with therapy dogs. Ultimate Canine is an award-winning, internationally recognized company that provided therapy dogs, service dogs and family dogs to people all across America. 

So aside from eating my weight in deep dish Chicago style pizza, I was there to learn. One of my favorite moments, other than listening to the fabulous and incredibly motivational Seth Godin speak, was the video featuring a number of funeral directors talking about the aftermath of topics we sadly see all too often in the media these days - mass shootings and terrorism. Not something even I had considered or dealt with but a very real reality when a community is shaken to its very core. Check out the NFDA Instagram page to see the video.

Another great takeaway was the NFDA initiative of ‘Remembering A Life’ self-care box which contains a carefully curated collection of items to help a grieving individual find relaxation, reflection and remembrance following the death of a loved one. Containing a grief journal, memory jar, a candle, an oil roller, rose quartz stone, water bottle, and dragonfly keyring. While it definitely won’t be for everyone and I know some people may even find offense in some of the contents, I do think a care box is a lovely addition for a funeral home to give to grieving clients they think would appreciate its contents. Remembering a Life is online and a quick Google search will bring any funeral director worldwide to its wide and varied content. Worth a quick search!  

Life Celebrations Ireland

A funeral is a service for respecting and remembering the life of the deceased. In order to fully remember their life in death, I believe that parts of their life should be entwined respectfully into their funeral service. A body does not need to be present for a memorial to take place.

If the person was musical, then music could play a large part in the service; if they liked books, someone could read from their favourite authors, books or poems; if they were artistic, perhaps works of art could be displayed. If they were a real ‘people’ person, perhaps friends could contribute to the service. Did they bake? Did they play golf or football? Did they act or dance?

Incorporate all that the deceased loved in life into the service that says farewell. This way, you will truly represent them and celebrate the presence they held in your life.

So, some ideas to consider:

• Transport: Instead of a hearse transporting the body, you could organise a motorcycle or horse-drawn hearse, or a favourite vehicle of the deceased. These are widely available and accessible in funeral homes across Ireland. The family could follow a hearse on horse, bikes, motorcycles, running, walking or whatever was personal to the deceased;

• Music: Have someone musical sing a song, play an instrument, compose a piece of music or even just organise the musical elements of the funeral service, or reception;

• Words: Usually, there will be a friend or family member who will feel comfortable sharing a story or an anecdote, reading a prayer or saying the eulogy. Involve as many of these people as possible, as it will make the funeral much more personal;

• Images: Most people have a wide variety of friends, clubs, family, networks, work associates and

colleagues and each of them know the deceased in a different way. Allow them to share through imagery their own personal memory of the deceased;

• Video: Similar to images, there may be videos of friends, family or work events that included the

deceased. Allow someone to take charge of compiling a video with music to showcase during the service or at the reception;

• Greeters: This can be a great way to involve children and teenagers who may not understand what is

happening or don’t know how to express themselves. It is a task that doesn’t require a huge amount of responsibility as they are simply greeting people as they enter the venue and guiding them to their seat or handing them an order of service. Including them in the service is very important for their grieving process and gives them something practical to focus on;

• Pallbearers: Typically, six men – usually close family or friends – fill the roles of pallbearer at the funeral. Don’t be afraid to deviate from tradition: if there are women interested, allow them to get involved;

• Service: Is there a friend or family member who can perform the ceremony or service? If so, inviting them to get involved in this capacity can be another way to personalise the funeral. Depending on the deceased’s religion, there may be freedom to personalise a service;

• Design: An artist in the family or a graphic designer colleague may wish to participate creatively in the funeral through using their skills and creating an

image for display, or designing the order of service booklet or a personal memorial favour for guests to take away with them;

• Reception: The reception allows a lot more freedom for personalisation as a service can be dependent on religious beliefs. Here you can become more creative, choosing to serve only the deceased’s favourite drink or food, play only their taste in music or hire their favourite band, etc;

• Graveyard release: At the burial, you might like to release some doves, butterflies or balloons to signify the release of the body, soul or spirit, depending on your beliefs.

The funeral reception

In simple terms, your choice of venue for a funeral reception is between holding it at home (the deceased’s home or that of a close relative) or in an external venue (a hired hall or hotel,

restaurant, club or pub). Sometimes it is not an easy choice but often the choice has already been decided, through the deceased’s requests or ‘because that is what he/she would have wanted’. This can help relieve a great deal of decision-making. But for those that still have to make the choice or would just like to know what each option holds, below I have detailed the issues to consider with each.

House versus Venue

House:

• Transport to and from the house: Where is the house located? Is it on a quiet street without much parking or with ‘pay and display’ parking? Is it down a very tight country lane where accidents are common? Does it have a large driveway that will accommodate some cars? How far from the church or funeral service is it? Is it easy to find? Perhaps a few designated directors

can guide people to the house from the service;

• Need to put certain areas ‘off limit’: This is someone’s home, maybe the deceased’s, or their family home. Either way, you need people to be respectful and to facilitate that you need to set some boundaries. If possible, lock bedroom doors or any ‘off limit’ areas. Put any and all valuables or precious items into these locked rooms;

• Provide maps: Even with all the technology around today, it never hurts to supply people with a physical and easy-to-read map with directions to the house, to make sure you don’t lose anyone en route;

• Immediate family only or all invited: This is a personal decision to make but also one to think about

logisitically. How popular was the deceased? Will everyone who was at the service attend the reception? Will people who could not make the service come to the reception? How many can the house and the food / drink cater for? Would a more quiet, ‘family only’ affair be more respectful and more tasteful?

• No peace and quiet: A common issue with having a reception in your own home is that there is no escape. You cannot retire to bed or relax on your couch and collect your thoughts, cry, laugh, reminisce or scream if you have invited people into your home. Everywhere you go in the house, you will find people who will want to sympathize with you;

• Marquee option: Having a reception in your home is a lovely idea but, if you expect numbers to exceed space you have available to cater for them, consider the option of hiring a marquee and placing it in the back or front garden. It will still have that homely feel but will ease the impact on your home;

Catering: 
Another critical aspect of having a reception in a home is catering for everyone. Typically, people are hungry after a funeral service – thirsty, too. Can you afford / do you have the space to cater for them all? Do you have the kitchen facilities to do it? Will it be finger food, buffet or a three-course meal? Can friends, family and neighbors bring a dish or some sandwiches and help out? It will certainly ease stress if a caterer can come and have all the food and drink (including cups of tea and coffee – a favorite at events such as funerals) prepared for you when you arrive home from the service and will clear up when you are finished. They also can supply the extra cutlery and glassware that would otherwise have to be rented or borrowed.

Venue:

• Transport to and from: Often a central venue in the local town or city center can be the best choice when it comes to transport. Typically, there is ample parking, directions to the venue are known, and roads and paths are well-lit and secure.

• Local or long distance: Did the deceased drink in a particular bar or visit a particular hotel or restaurant regularly? This could be ideal for the reception. Another option is to think of a venue where perhaps the deceased always wanted to visit. Choosing venues can be dependent on whether you wish to ask people to travel long distances. Elderly people may not be able to commit to the travel;

• Book accommodation: Depending on how far people must travel for the funeral service, you may have to provide them with accommodation information such as local bed and breakfasts or hotels. If you are holding the reception in a hotel, you might be able to negotiate a discount on rooms booked;

• House-sitters: If you choose to have the reception in a local hotel, it is sad, but often burglars are aware of this fact. The deceased’s details have been printed in the newspaper and this house is now empty, with potentially dozens of others on the same road or in the same estate as the deceased. All of these home-owners will be at the hotel at the reception. Safeguard yourself and your home against these opportunists and have a house-sitter mind your home, leave a radio or a TV on, make sure an alarm has been fitted to your home and leave some lights on. Give the impression someone is

home;

• Opportunity to get away if needed: A bonus to having a reception in a hotel, club, bar or local restaurant is that it is easy to slip away for some peace and quiet if you need to. Funerals can be very tiring and emotional experiences and while some people will wish to celebrate the deceased life long into the night, others will feel tired very fast and require some sleep or just a few moments alone;

• Music and entertainment: Having an external venue look after the reception also means that you can hire professionals to provide entertainment for your guests – maybe the deceased’s favorite band or trad singer or pianist?

Catering: 
Again, choosing a venue takes care of the catering issue. Professionals will cater to everyone’s taste and price. You can choose to pay for everything, or allow everyone to order for themselves or you can order some smaller items and if people wish to have more they can pay for it.

Regardless of which option you choose, home or external venue, there are still more decisions to make. Food and drink options will be similar whether the reception is held in the home or in a public house:

• Will you have a special toast for the deceased?

• Is there a special menu you would like to supply in honour of the deceased?

• Will you supply a buffet, finger food or sit down menu? What time will it be served at?

• Will you supply a free bar/limited bar or have people pay for/bring their own?

Another option could be to have a family sit-down dinner immediately after the service and meet up with everyone else in a broader reception afterward. Always keep some food aside; this might seem like a waste but it will not be. This food is for the immediate family who may or may not eat during the reception as they will be chatting with everyone and accepting sympathies. This food will be greatly appreciated after the reception when everyone has gone home.

ICCFA Convention 2018 Las Vegas

The ICCFA 2018 Annual Convention took place in sunny Las Vegas!

I was happy for an excuse to take me to some sunshine after a pretty long winter in both Ireland and New York.

I flew in a day early to gather myself and get some Vitamin D because I know, from previous conventions in Vegas, that you can get so involved in work and networking that you may never leave the adjoining hotels or see daylight!

 I had hardly walked in the door of the convention and I met the infamous Funeral Commander, Jeff Harbeson. Always a laugh to catch up with him and his bright colourful suits!

I love coming to the ICCFA and the NFDA annual conventions because twice a year, every year, the funeral professionals gather to educate, innovate, network, eat, drink and rarely sleep!! Always a chance to catch up with old friends and make some new ones in the process! I even got to catch a few shows with friends while I was in town too which was great, considering Vegas is THE go-to spot for any show!

Sadly, Innovation at this year's show, along with attendance, was slow and seriously lacking. I was hard pushed trying to find something new to report on. There were SongPods of Solace which contain cremated remains, locks of hair/fur or feathers of a loved one. They are handmade and considered a musical memorial. Shake them and hold to your ear to hear a unique chime!

Then there is commemorative rosary beads which are made from flowers - from a wedding, a funeral, a birthday or anything. A good way to 'recycle' flowers and keep a memorial of the date.

A very girly innovative find this year, lastly we had Phyll The Love. A company set up, when she found herself limited according to Jewish customs to throw something onto her mother's coffin as it was being lowered into the ground. A series of hurried questions to the rabbi later and colorful sand was the chosen love token! She now provides beautiful little bottles of coloured sand that funeral directors or family members can hand out to graveside goers to toss onto the casket in lieu of flowers. Innovative and creative? Yes, however, when I asked a number of my followers on Instagram their thoughts on usage, the result was a resounding NOPE. Ah well.

Other interesting things to note from the show was innovation in marketing or lack thereof. According to big players Funeral One and their attendees, marketing remains to be a funeral homes biggest challenge.

People WERE trying though, with Virtual Reality games happening and a giant colouring board to name a few fun things I spotted.

My first time Insta Story-ing the convention and the reactions were priceless - people thinking things were creepy AF (see below) or fascinated with the fact that there was such a thing as a funeral convention and wait...what...they have fun at it??! Noooooo.

I think we need to look at marketing for the industry from these people's perspectives and stop hiding our heads in the, even colourful, sand!
SaveSave

Funeral Etiquette - mostly Irish!

Although etiquette is now considered ‘old-fashioned’ in many quarters, here are some guidelines to respectful modern-day etiquette for a funeral.

Consider not:

• Allowing toddlers to run around with no parental supervision;
• Answering your mobile phone during any part of the funeral service;
• Pointing out to the next-of-kin which of the deceased’s possessions you would like to have;
• ‘Whispering’ loudly about the deceased during a quiet time of reflection or thought;
• Inquiring about the will and ‘who got what’
• Getting into a road rage when a funeral procession (hearse and accompanying cars) is passing.

Do consider: 

• Offering help or assistance – but be specific: “I will call you tomorrow” or “I will make your dinners for this week”, etc; 
• Paying your respects to all of the family members – they may be wearing a black cross or circle bereavement pins to identify them as grieving (www.mourningcross.com); 
• Remembering the deceased and talking about them; 
• Going to both the removal/wake (if there is one) and/or the funeral service to pay your respects; 
• Calling into the next-of-kin to check up on them in the weeks and months after the funeral; 
• Sitting up near the front of the funeral home/church or other venue where the service will be held. This shows added support for the next-of-kin, close friends and family and most people avoid this area thinking there are more 'important' people coming. Trust me, you will know if you are sitting in someone's seat but more often than not, the immediate family are left isolated at the top of the church/venue.
• Your funeral attire: Were you asked to wear a specific colour or outfit for a themed service? If not, modest clothing in muted colours is always a safe bet to avoid offense or disrespect, and if in doubt, ask someone else who will be in attendance and is close to the immediate friends and family; 
• Doing what you feel comfortable with. Your relationship was with the deceased or their next of kin so in your heart of hearts/gut you KNOW what is approprite to respect their memory. Do it.
• You will know what boundaries there are and, if in doubt, ask. A person grieving is STILL a person.

Funeral directors in Ireland

Typically when someone in Ireland dies, the first thing a family does is to contact a local funeral director or undertaker. A funeral director’s job usually involves:

• Collection of the deceased’s body;
• Preparation of the deceased’s body;
• Embalming the body;
• Provision of a coffin and hearse;
• Provision of transport for the family and guests;
• The organization of, and payment for, the burial plot (if not already paid for);
• Payment for the following disbursements: grave opening or cremation charges, church offerings, newspaper announcements (obituaries);
• Organising flowers and sympathy cards as received.

In general, an invoice from a funeral director should be paid within 30 days. If the account goes into arrears, by Irish law the funds can be paid from the deceased’s estate. Funeral directors in Ireland are not under any legal obligation to display their prices, although members of the Irish Association of Funeral Directors (IAFD) are bound by their Code of Practice (see below) to do so.

The IAFD (www.iafd.ie) has almost 300 members across the island of Ireland, out of an estimated total of 600 operating funeral directors. The IAFD has a Code of Practice that its members must adhere to, which is in effect a Customer Care Charter. It includes a complaints procedure if a customer has an issue.

The IAFD’s Code of Practice requires a funeral director to agree to the following:

• Serve their clients with competence and concern for the client’s best interests;
• Discuss and agree their charges with the next-of-kin in advance, unless expressly asked not to do so;
• Professionalism and quality of service in arranging and conducting the funeral;
• Accurate advertising of prices and services;
• Confidentiality.

The funeral industry in Ireland is one of the few worldwide where there are still no barriers to entry and no licensing or regulation. Yet these businesses are responsible for the burial or

cremation of thousands of people each year. The Forum on End of Life, which

started researching and consulting in the area of End of Life in March 2009, is a project of the Irish Hospice Foundation and its National Council and is chaired by Mrs. Justice Catherine McGuinness. The Forum is currently calling for government regulation of funeral and cremation services, including embalming, as they have reported that some funeral directors are issuing ambiguous invoices to families and particular providers are engaging in financial arrangements with hospital and hospice staff to ensure recommendation.

Between reports like this, media coverage and word-of-mouth, the industry has developed a reputation that is not altogether flattering. So, like every purchase you make, you should consider who your supplier is, their character, background, experience and previous testimonials before signing anything. See blog post 5 Things to Know Before You Visit a Funeral Director for more info!

5 Things to Know Before You Visit a Funeral Director

1. Plan ahead of a funeral home visit: Know what you would like ahead of time because more than likely the undertaker can and will oblige. Not knowing what you want could incur massive costs to you and your family and/or you will walk away not getting what you wished.
2. Compare prices: Funeral prices can vary hugely, even in the same county, so don’t be afraid to ring up and ask for prices ahead of time. Unfortunately, most funeral homes do not display their prices on their websites so a bit of research is required here. Don't be afraid to call them up and ask for quotes.
3. Think local and small: Small, independent funeral homes often can provide you with a better quality and more personal service at a cheaper price, so don’t forget the little guy....
4. Read all about the extras that you may incur if you are not careful: Only purchase what you need and want and get a clear quote. Embalming, grave cover, and pallbearers are all extras that you may not need;
5. Inspect the products you are purchasing as much as is physically possible. Like any event (and a funeral is just that) you should compare and inspect what you are buying. If you were planning a wedding you would want to see examples of the flowers and cake wouldn't you?

End of Life Forum 2017

The End of Life Forum 2017 was held in Dublin Castle yesterday October 10th and was a brilliant day, filled with like-minded professionals, Irish government officials, experts and the ever important 'Joe Publics'. All End of Life aspects where discussed, questions asked (not all answered!) and touching stories shared.

DID YOU KNOW? 88% of doctors said they would choose Do Not Attempt CPR (DNACPR or Do Not Attempt Resuscitation or Allow Natural Death decisions) and YET they deliver these orders to you the patient. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense now does it? Kind of terrifying too.

There was talk (obviously) of the budget and the fact that the Bereavement Grant was not reinstated for 2018's Budget plan. It was said that although this grant wasn't of massive financial significance in helping costs at end of life, it was significant because it represents the State acknowledging you had 'lost a heartbeat'. Considering by this time next year, there will be 3 million Irish people bereaved after a loss of 29, 000 lives, that is a lot of heartbeats ignored by the State.

DID YOU KNOW? 1 out of 3 of us will lose the ability to make our own decisions in the end.

If there is one thing I have been eager on encouraging my readers to do, it is to PREPLAN their funeral because that is what I am passionate about but preplanning your funeral is just ONE task on the 'to do list' of End of Life planning and while the appendices in my first book includes a fantastic (if I do say so myself!) plan to help you preplan your funeral, it does NOT include all of the other essential questions and answers you need to address to fully sort out your End of Life plan. And so, I nod to the Irish Hospice Foundation's fantastic The Think Ahead form which will guide you in recording your preferences regarding ALL aspects of end of life. It encourages you to ensure that those closest to you are aware of these preferences so that, should a time come when you are unable to express them yourself, your wishes will be clear to those caring for you or managing your affairs.

80 people die a day in Ireland, some suddenly and some slowly and some painfully and as Irish Hospice CEO Sharon Foley said "For every 1 death, someone's life changes for ever."

Bryan Nolan...we need to remember that "The person dying is the MOST bereaved person in the room".

Funeral Times Expo 2017

First-time exhibitor!

Had a great time meeting colleagues of the Irish Funeral Industry over the last 2 days at the Funeral Times Exhibition in Citywest Dublin.

Our Irish Human Memorial Jewellery went down very well, we were out of leaflets after the first day!

Interestingly alot of funeral directors said that cremation is increasing every year and people are often asking for cremation jewellery. Another interesting note for us was the interest in our Pet Memorial Jewellery! We even took some orders for some pet lover Funeral Directors who had lost their beloved pet in the last year.
There was also a VERY interesting method by one company to market their coffins.....I shall let you decided Yay or Nay......

Frank E Campbell NYC, Funeral Home to the Stars

Anybody who is anybody in NYC and has lost a loved one knows the name Frank Campbell. Maybe they haven't even lost a loved one but just attended one of the many hundreds of funerals they service a year. Regardless the name Frank E Campbell Funeral Home is synonymous with Upper Class, Celebrity, Manhattan Elite and more importantly privacy and an almost Genie like funeral. They grant the final wishes of the elite akin to the late great Robin Williams of Aladdin in the Disney movie.

Frank and his funeral home first attracted international recognition in 1926, when a famously beloved on screen silent movie romeo Rudolph Valentino died of a ruptured ulcer at the tender age of 31. The crowds at the funeral were huge...and dramatic. There was a rumor that Frank had replaced Valentino's body with a wax figure because the crowd of fans became so maniacal. A little known fact was that Frank had paid some of the mourners to faint and swoon at the funeral to garner more coverage in the media. A bit like the keeners we had in old Ireland, Frank used some seriously innovative PR moves to engage the media and it worked. Apparently he also took out a $1 million insurance policy on his 15-year-old son, Frank Junior, making him "the most heavily ­insured boy in the country". His use of publicity, engagement of the media, innovation in the industry and advertising his funeral home built his home and name to what it is today.

Frank began this innovative voyage long before Valentino's funeral however and has even been credited with starting the purchase of obituaries in newspapers and of adding chapels of all faiths to a funeral home, something which is only hitting Ireland in recent years. When Frank founded the Frank E. Campbell Burial and Cremation Company in 1898, he attempted to change the way people thought about funeral service. At that time in America, most funerals were conducted in private homes, but New York was becoming a city of apartment dwellers and people no longer had space. He actually started it in Downtown Manhattan but Frank was a socialite in all the right circles and soon recognized his niche in the market and moved to the current address in the Upper East Side. He also began to use motor vehicles instead of the typical horse drawn carriages to carry the deceased. His innovative legacy continues today even though the funeral home is currently not in his family anymore but a part of the industry giant SCI.

“We make sure our entranceway is taken care of properly without having the family being inundated,” George Amato, current president of Frank E Campbell says. “In the building, we have a private elevator and a private floor for the visitation that takes place. We have our security men on the front door checking the people arriving to make sure they are on the list, and they are escorted properly upstairs.” Mobile or cellphones are banned from the main chapel. Simple additions but all add to the security, privacy and comfort for families of the rich and famous.

The home has catered for a huge variety of 'sombodies' including Heads of State, United Nations Ambassadors, Dignitaries, Royalty, and Celebrity members of the arts and entertainment world. The staff are well equipped in a variety of languages and religions and there are 3 funeral counsellors or 'experts' on site who are educated in everything from coffin sizing, decor, religion specifics and repatriation legalities. In total there are 53 people on staff but they regularly hire in extra staff on a regular basis such as off duty NYC police officers as security.

In 1969, when the beautiful and beloved Judy Garland died, as many as 1,500 fans stood vigil outside Campbell’s during a vicious NYC heat wave. Judy Garland's visitation lasted over 24 hours, some people coming through to pay their respects 3 times - up to 20,000 fans went past her glass-enclosed ­coffin to view her in repose. Mourners included Lauren Bacall (who became a Campbell's client when she died aged 89 on Aug 11th last year) , then-Mayor John Lindsay, Patricia Kennedy Lawford and Garland’s daughters, Liza Minnelli and Lorna Luft. In another PR stunt, the press was not allowed access which of course just heightened the appeal and intrigue.

Such is the association with Frank E Campbell's and Celebrity that when John Lennon was assassinated in 1980 the media presumed that they would be handling the arrangements, and camped out there. Such was the media mayhem that a decoy hearse had to be sent for the media to follow, which they did and Mr Lennon was transported to be cremated in peace.

George Amato says one of the most complex funeral arrangements in recent years involved the accidental-overdose death of 28-year-old ­actor Heath Ledger in January 2008. "I was very closely involved with the people who were hand­ling him, because he was going to be sent to Los Angeles and then Australia," Amato says. "There was the Warner Brothers private jet that was being used for him and the family, so there was a lot of coordination to make sure that it all went exactly the way they wanted it, and we had to maintain the privacy and confidentiality that they wanted."

In terms of crazy requests George was not willing to divulge too much and with good reason. Confidentiality is their number one promise. However families can dictate whatever they want, and Campbell’s promises that no legal request is ever denied. When asked what requests he could tell me about, he told me of  a time where a family requested a highly exotic and rare flower. Money was no object and rarely is, so I'm told. The funeral home's response? "if it is growing somewhere on this earth we will find it and get it to you for the service." And they did. At another service, a request had been made for the deceased’s two Doberman pinschers to stand at the foot of their master’s casket. They did and they never moved or barked.

The home deals with 'celebrity' in different ways too depending on family wishes. For example the recent Joan Rivers funeral was extremely private and had a guestlist whereas the recent Governor Cuomo was large and open to the public and they had to close down 79th to 86th street for 18 limousines to transport family and dignitaries from the home to St Patrick's Cathedral on 5th Avenue in Midtown (a HUGE deal and irritant to New Yorkers). Then when Vice President Biden wanted to pay his respects the entire cathedral had to be searched and locked down for the visitation which is a huge security task.

Campbell himself died on Jan. 19, 1934, at age 62 of heart disease.

The list of clients reads like a Who’s Who: Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Robert F. Kennedy, Ed Koch, Judy Garland, Leona Helmsley, Ed Sullivan, James Cagney, Greta Garbo, George Gershwin, William Randolph Hearst, Malcolm Forbes, Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle, Joan Crawford, Rita Hayworth, L’Wren Scott, Heath Ledger, gangster Frank Costello and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Last spotted at the Frank E Campbell Funeral home include:
Aaliyah
Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle
Pedro Armendáriz, Jr.
Arleen Auger
Herman Badillo
Lauren Bacall
Irving Berlin
Peter Boyle
Lord Buckley
James Cagney
Oleg Cassini
Montgomery Clift
Frank Costello
Joan Crawford
Walter Cronkite
Celia Cruz
Mario Cuomo
Candy Darling
Thomas E. Dewey
Dominick Dunne
Jeanne Eagels
Malcolm Forbes
Billy Martin
Greta Garbo
Judy Garland
George Gershwin
Adam Goldstein
Lesley Gore
Rita Hayworth
Leona Helmsley
Jim Henson
Philip Seymour Hoffman‪
Richard Isay
Peter Jennings
Madeline Kahn
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Mordecai Lawner‪
Heath Ledger‪
John Lennon
Dick Lynch
Mary MacLeod Trump
Norman Mailer
Bat Masterson
Ethel Merman
Anna Moffo
The Notorious B.I.G.
Les Paul
Ayn Rand
Tony Randall
Joan Rivers
Bishop Fulton J. Sheen
Jean Stapleton
Igor Stravinsky
Ed Sullivan
Arturo Toscanini
Fred Trump
Rudolph Valentino
Luther Vandross
Mae West
Tennessee Williams
A$AP Yams

Playing the drums

So I'm in Starbucks in Baltimore yesterday and Facetiming regarding an upcoming conference for my jewelry and when I hang up the gentleman sitting beside me starts up a conversation about my accent and his Irish heritage. We get into it pretty thick and he divulges some personal information about his parents' deaths and their funerals and how his daughter never met his father, her grandfather.

It's amazing when strangers make a connection, even a quick one. What I thought was cool was he was telling me about his father's funeral and how they had wanted to play the drums but the priest wasn't too happy about it. They decided to do it anyway and he told me about how the sound reverberated through every single person and was so effective and emotional that they decided to go one further and bring the drummer to perform at the cemetery. Apparently the sound echoed for miles. How amazing is that? What a send off! I would never have thought of drums for my own funeral but now I'm thinking bring it on! Sounds like the best way to go out with a colorful bang!

Top 10 funeral songs?

As found on several websites online - Here are the top ten funeral songs:

1. “Goodbye My Lover” by James Blunt
2. “You Raise Me Up” by Westlife
3. “Time To Say Goodbye” by Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli
4. “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler
5. “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion
6. “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John
7. “With or Without You” by U2
8. “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton
9. “Angels” by Robbie Williams
10. ”Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers

What do you think?? Right wrong? I think I might have to compile a list but my this list could be LONG!!!

Top 10 Irish Foods

1. Irish Stew

Beef or lamb, although typically made with beef these days, carrots, onions and spuds - oh and a delicious gravy like sauce that its all stewed in - hence the name!

2. Soda Bread and Brown Bread

Soda and Brown Breads are very versatile recipes which have stood the test of time as Irish classics because of their simplicity. No-knead, no-fuss styles of bread which are delicious on their own (with lashings of REAL Irish Butter!!), toasted (also with butter!) or served with a warm bowl of soup.

3. Roast Lamb

Personally I can't stand Lamb BUT I believe it needs very little work to get stunning natural meat flavours. A staple on Irish dinner tables for years, this continues to be a firm favorite. Roasted with rosemary and garlic is the way to go and with these flavours I might actually be tempted!

4. Fish!

NOT a massive fish person but I couldn't neglect this - Simple, versatile, and we're an Island so there's plenty of it! Regarded as a delicacy in other countries, salmon is one of the most common fish eaten in Ireland. Typical preparation is poached in fish stock, or another very popular method is Smoked Salmon. The flavor of wild salmon tends to be tastier but also more expensive.

Seafood Chowder is also a HUGE hit with tourists and Irish natives in equal measure - it warms the heart and when fresh like in Howth it tastes like Ireland.

Oysters are regarded worldwide as an aphrodisiac and a wealthy person's meal but in Ireland, on the island, they frequented the dinner table as the norm. Typically served on ice with a lemon to garnish.

Mussels are big in Ireland these days and although I don't eat them or therefore prepare them - here is a tip from Tv Chef Donal Skehan "Mussels have a reputation for being difficult to cook, but this is just not true. The hardest part in reality is the washing. Place them in cold water (they should close, if they don’t you should throw them away). Scrub any dirt off the surface of the mussels and remove the beard with a small knife. If you can get this down you will have no trouble and they take minutes to cook, so they’re the perfect little starter. I love serving the pot straight to the table from the stove and clunking large spoonfuls of the cooked steaming mussels onto guest’s plates. Make sure to serve with some chunky bread to mop up the juices!"

5. Coddle

Apparently this is (or was maybe!) a common dish for Dubliners on a Saturday night before they headed on a night out but as a 32 year old Dub - I have certainly never experienced this! It is a good basic Irish dish that consists of chopped sausages and bacon cooked together with onions and the potatoes in beef stock. Tasty as F@##!

6. A Full Irish Breakfast

Wow what to say here - it's delish! And a MUST HAVE after a night boozin! For me, it has to be superquinn sausages, clonakilty black and white pudding and rashers and 2 eggs whichever way you like 'em! YUM YUM!

7. Colcannon Mash

Colcannon is as traditional, as traditional Irish food gets, mashed spuds with gently cooked and thinly sliced cabbage with lots and lots of real Irish butter! Nowadays scallions and/or mustard are added to the mix to give it a different flavour. Personally I adore it with scallions and a fried egg on top!

8. Apple Crumble Cake

Apple crumble is one of my most favourite winter desserts of all time, I remember making some for my mom as a surprise when I was a kid and when I took it out of the oven, I put it on the stove which was still too hot and the dish exploded Apple Crumble all over the kitchen walls! Not a great welcome home gift but Apple Crumble never fails to warm down to the toes.

9. Bacon (Ham) and Cabbage

Here is how to do it right: Slow boil the ham/bacon loin, then boil the cabbage in the salty water the bacon has cooked in. Bake the ham until crisp on the outside, you can add honey and mustard to the outer layers too if you like. Serve with the cabbage and some mashes spuds with oodles of real Irish butter (there's a trend emerging....).

10.  Soup and Sambos

I couldn't write a blog about the top ten Irish foods without a special shout out for something you will find practically anywhere! Any house, pub, restaurant, shop, petrol station - anywhere!! There is always a hot soup going and accompanying it is a sandwich - ham and cheese, chicken salad, egg, tuna, chicken tikka, BLT - the choice is endless!

Stick a packet of Tayto Crisps and a bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk onto the end of ANY of the above meals and you have yourself a TRUE Irish meal!

Top 10 Dublin Restaurants

Donal Skehan - one of Ireland's youngest and (in my opinion) most down to earth TV chefs was featured on one of America's biggest food websites www.epicurious.com. They asked him to throw together his favourite spots to eat around Dublin City, which being MY hometown also, I thought I would share although he mentions more than ten restaurants! After all ALOT of post funeral activity in Ireland surround food!

1. "Brunch at the Pepperpot Cafe in Powerscourt Town House, with their mismatched tea sets and epic sandwiches–Mount Callan Cheddar, Bacon, and Roast Pear being my favorite!–followed by a stroll around Grafton St. and a stop by Fallon & Byrne for some great-quality ingredients and Sheridans for the best cheese Ireland has to offer."

2. "Chapter One. Wonderful service and incredible cooking from one of Ireland's most widely celebrated chefs, Ross Lewis."

3. "One of the things I love most about the Dublin food scene is that you don't have to spend a fortune to get great-quality food. A serious sausage roll with proper Irish pork and flaky puff pastry from Lolly & Cooks in George's Street Arcade served with a fresh salad is a great lunch. Or Skinflint in Temple Bar has a good offering of cheap and tasty dinners, and paddle-shaped pizzas with firebee [infused with chile!] honey."

4. "3FE is hard to beat for coffee in Dublin, but I also love Brother Hubbard, whose food matches their coffee offering. They do brilliant breakfasts–I had semolina pancakes with poached rhubarb, mint, and candied nuts last time I was in. In Ireland the national drink is surprisingly not Guinness but TEA! Every Irish problem can be solved with a cup of tea and Wall & Keogh, a super little cafe, has a huge selection of tea and is a great place to try some of the best in town."

5. "For more traditional Irish food Hatch & Sons is a super spot for a hearty lunch of great Irish ingredients, or the Winding Stair Bookshop & Cafe and the Pig's Ear for a dinner featuring more traditional Irish cooking."

6. "There are plenty of new restaurants popping up in Dublin but some of the great spots for food include: the Fumbally for inspired salads and sandwiches"

7. "L. Mulligan Grocer, which has a wonderful menu of creative pub food like scotch eggs and ploughman's platters featuring many Irish artisan producers"

8. "Crackbird - an addictive chicken joint which has a super little take on fast-food fried chicken."

9. "A stop in Bunsen who serve seriously good burgers with quality Black Aberdeen Angus Beef and homemade burger buns."

10. "My hometown of Howth, a little fishing village north of city, is the best place to go for some great food and a beautiful picnic. You can get the DART right into the heart of village and then take your pick of seafood restaurants for some great Irish seafood chowder before heading out on the cliff walk with some of the most breathtaking views of the Baily Lighthouse and across Dublin Bay."

Paris 2013 - Salon International De L'Art Funeraire

I attended the Funeraire Paris 2013 - Salon International De L'Art Funeraire this year and my was I unblown away. Mediocre at best unfortunately. This show claims international status but from the beginning (signing in) I had issues with language. Even my Leaving Cert French couldn't help me here. This did not bode well for the show. I found that 80% of the exhibitors were French, of whom a large part did not speak any English and thus it was difficult to find out exactly why anyone should choose them above their competitors. 

For some reasoning I seemed mostly drawn to Italian exhibitors, completely coincidental, or maybe innovation is in Italy! When I visit these shows, I like to find something that catches my eye, something new, something colourful, different - something that stands out. For me the Italians had it in bags.

There was beautiful urns from Milan, a far cry from any I had seen before, from Amuela, Milano (Amuela.it). There was the stunning Rotastyle from Presezzo, Italy whose exhibition was far from shy. It's screamed glamour, luxury, and money. A beautiful display area with a few cute parting gifts for visitors to their exhibit, they definitely packed a punch in my eyes. Lastly on the Italian front there was PastBook (PastBook.com), an innovative new approach to social media, online photos and the funeral industry, I think this one is a much needed service. It offers undertakers a reasonable cut of the takings without robbing the consumer. They began with parties and weddings and have now moved into funerals. A smart move in my opinion and if any funeral directors are out there, getting in touch with these guys will be their next move if they are smart. A step up from the wedding album or the condolence book and a business to watch!

Other businesses to note: ParlAmore which can incorporate the button or buttons of loved ones into a ring or broach which is a step up from a mourning pin. There was also a fabulous Eco coffin creator. Fantastic images. Check her out onwww.cercueils-en-carton.com. Bling hit the coffin makers with Globale RC putting crystals into their coffins - dazzling even the most discerning customer. 

Finally there was Jewel Concepts in the form of Fingerprint jewellery and portrait jewellery. The first you may know about, the second perhaps not. These guys, I spoke with Cess Janssen in particular, know how to personalise jewellery. From still births to burials and cremations, they have it covered. The portrait jewellery is where they take an image of someone's profile (from a picture) and they use that profile shape to create a unique pendent, as can be seen in the pictures. It has the shape of a vase but upon closer inspection you can see the silhouette of the face. Ashes can be inserted into the pendent also. 

All in all Paris was not where it's at in terms of innovation, but definitely worth a visit for networking and some hidden gems.

Seamus Heaney Poem

“Human beings suffer,

They torture one another,

They get hurt and get hard.

No poem or play or song

Can fully right a wrong

Inflicted and endured.

The innocent in gaols

Beat on their bars together.

A hunger-striker's father

Stands in the graveyard dumb.

The police widow in veils

Faints at the funeral home.

History says, don't hope

On this side of the grave.

But then, once in a lifetime

The longed-for tidal wave

Of justice can rise up,

And hope and history rhyme.

So hope for a great sea-change

On the far side of revenge.

Believe that further shore

Is reachable from here.

Believe in miracle

And cures and healing wells.

Call miracle self-healing:

The utter, self-revealing

Double-take of feeling.

If there's fire on the mountain

Or lightning and storm

And a god speaks from the sky

That means someone is hearing

The outcry and the birth-cry

Of new life at its term.” 

― Seamus Heaney

Farewell Funeral Planners

You are here Blog: http://farewellfuneralplanners.blogspot.com/

Come join the chat!!!

Here are some other ways to connect with us!! --->

Website: http://www.farewellfuneralplanners.ie/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FarewellPlanners

YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/user/FarewellPlanners/videos

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/TheGlamReaper

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/farewellplanner/

USA Shop - www.celtic-ashes.com

Michael Jackson - 4 year anniversary

Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009) 

Michael was alot of things but he will primarily be known for his kookiness and his music. An American recording artist, entertainer, father and businessman and also known as the King of Pop, he has been recognised as the most successful entertainer or all time by the Guinness World Records.

Starting his music career in 1964 with his siblings as the Jackson 5 and going solo in 1971, his career spanned four decades.

His 1982 album Thriller is the best-selling album of all time and other awards of note are

• Multiple Guinness World Records 
• 13 Grammy Awards 
• The Grammy Legend Award
• The Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award
• 26 American Music Awards including the "Artist of the Century" and "Artist of the 1980s"
• 13 number-one singles in the United States (solo artist)
• Jackson won hundreds of awards, which made him the most-awarded recording artist in the history of popular music 
• On his 52nd birthday on August 29, 2010, he became the most downloaded artist of all time

His funeral:
Jackson's memorial service was held on July 7, 2009. Members of the public could attend on a 'lottery style' basis - 1.6 million fans applied and 8,750 were drawn at random. Jackson's casket was present during the memorial but no information was released about the final disposition of the body.

The memorial service was one of the most watched events in online streaming history. The U.S. audience was estimated by Nielsen to be 31.1 million (35.1 million - burial of former president Ronald Reagan and 33.1 million Americans - 1997 funeral for Princess Diana).

Stevie Wonder, Lionel Richie, Mariah Carey, John Mayer, Jennifer Hudson and Usher, Jermaine Jackson, and Shaheen Jafargholi all performed at the event.

Eulogies were given by Berry Gordy and Smokey Robinson with Queen Latifah reading "We had him", a poem written for the occasion by Maya Angelou.