Did you know? There was Rules of mourning?!

Did you know? There was Rules of mourning?! I mean what now?!

The twenty-fifth edition of the "Rules of Etiquette and Home Culture" published in 1893 explains how the longest mourning for a widow should last a period of two years. During the first year of mourning only black wool was to be worn, without any trimmings or jewelry. Black silk with white collars and cuffs was worn during the second period of mourning, which lasted six months. Grey, white, and violet could be introduced during the last six months of mourning.

In days past, the rules of behavior for mourning were well known and rigorously followed.  Today? Not so much.....but there are definitely some people who still 'follow the rules'.

There was a Catholic etiquette book written in 1962:

Case in Point: JFK's funeral-
A day of national mourning was declared for President John Kennedy. His widow wore traditional black BUT ALSO - One in mourning does not go to large public functions, balls or dinner parties. He does not dine out in restaurants or go to parties. He also does not host parties or social functions in his home during the mourning period.

ALSO - He may dine with friends in his home. He may continue such sports as he has always played, but his costume should be dark-colored and suitable to the game he is playing.

ALSO - A widow or widower should not accept or offer attentions to the opposite sex for a year.

These standards were strictly maintained through the Civil War period and even into the beginning of the 20th century in higher society and good families. Many people, however, began to adopt the more practical custom of simply wearing dark clothing to express their mourning and this continues through to today's funerals across the world.

An Eco funeral

What is an Eco Funeral?

Eco means reducing the amount of C02 that will be produced from your funeral.
Think about the suppliers you will use, the products you will buy and how you can reduce, reuse and recycle. How far will your Suppliers/Supplies have to travel to get to your desired venue? Your funeral can still be everything you desire and have that ‘life celebration’ factor without costing the earth.

Venue

• Can you cut down on travel and have both ceremony and reception at the one venue?
• When talking with a venue ask them what their Environmental policies are and include carbon footprint, fair-trade goods and recycling in your questions.
• Does your venue buy local and/or organic produce? Will they offer you an organic alternative if you wish?
•  

Order of Service

• Try having family sending out the order of service via email
• Use recycled paper or from handmade paper
• Ask people to recycle the order of service at the bottom of the page.
• Use your imagination and give people something creative like something they can use again or even eat!

The Vessel

• Consider a cardboard coffin, woolen or  bamboo or other biodegradable container 
• For your dress use organic materials such as silk and cotton bought from fair-trade suppliers
• Perhaps have your body dressed in a biodegradable cloth such as cotton.

Flowers

• Try sourcing local and seasonal wildflowers. This will you cut emissions that would be generated by delivery.  
• For centrepieces, use oxygen producing potted plants or candles with green foliage.
• Are the Florists flowers organically grown in season?
• Do they recycle & compost? Does the florist work with farmers who follow sustainable practices?

Burial

• Choose a green graveyard for burial.  
• Choose a living marker for your grave plot site such as a tree.

Alternatives

• Opt out of embalming
• New upcoming Irish service Ecolation could be the answer for you if you are preplanning a purely ecological end of life exit.

Happy Christmas Irish Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Irishman  started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The paddy  replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......

So what are we at?!

So what do we do here at Farewell? Well while we started off in the funeral planning business- it didnt quite work out - Irish people were not really open to the idea of planning their own funeral but it brought me on a journey to where I am today which is still evolving every week!

Currently I write books, articles and reviews of funeral planning, products, the industry, new businesses etc. I also speak on the radio or in documentaries about the same. While I am writing book number 2 at the moment my new range of memorial keepsake jewellery is flying out!

It started waaay back when I was in the States and my granny passed away. I didn't make it home for the funeral but she had given me (as most Irish grandmothers did!) a miraculous medal to keep me 'wholesome and pure' and while that might not have worked I did wear it to feel close to her after she passed. Soon however I was getting the typically snide remarks of "the virgin Mary" and "ooo aren't you a holy Joe" and it became uncomfortable because I would have to tell them that either yes I was or that they were an a** because my granny had died (usually the latter).

Then two years later we had to put our dog of 16 years down because she was suffering with strokes. This devastated us. We got her cremated and have her ashes in a box on our mantelpiece, an act most families of cremated loved one's do. But with these two experiences, I got thinking about how I could keep a piece of a loved one with me, wherever I went in the world (I intended to travel alot).

Farewell Celtic Ashes and Rainbow Bridge Memorials were born, looking after the Humans and Pets respectively. It only takes a teaspoon of some ashes to create a beautiful piece of memorial jewellery that you can keep with/on you forever.

So that is what I am currently up to at Farewell HQ! ;-)

Paddy died......An Irish Joke

Paddy died. His will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral.  

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend.
"Ah well, Paddy would be pleased," she  said.

"You're right," replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in  close.

"So go on, how much did this really cost?'"
"All of it," said Colleen.  "Forty thousand."


"Aw No!" Mary exclaimed, "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!"
Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to church.  The whisky, wine and snacks were another £500.
The rest went for the Memorial Stone."

Mary  computed  quickly.

"For the love of Mike Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone?
How big is it?"

The Fairies by William Allingham

Up the airy mountain
Down the rushy glen,
We dare n't go a-hunting,
For fear of little men;

Wee folk, good folk,
Trooping all together;
Green jacket, red cap,
And white owl's feather

Down along the rocky shore
Some make their home,
They live on crispy pancakes
Of yellow tide-foam;

Some in the reeds
Of the black mountain-lake,
With frogs for their watch-dogs,
All night awake.

High on the hill-top
The old King sits;
He is now so old and gray
He's nigh lost his wits.

With a bridge of white mist
Columbkill he crosses,
On his stately journeys
From Slieveleague to Rosses;

Or going up with music,
On cold starry nights,
To sup with the Queen,
Of the gay Northern Lights.

They stole little Bridget
For seven years long;
When she came down again
Her friends were all gone.

They took her lightly back
Between the night and morrow;
They thought she was fast asleep,
But she was dead with sorrow.

They have kept her ever since
Deep within the lake,
On a bed of flag leaves,
Watching till she wake.

By the craggy hill-side,
Through the mosses bare,
They have planted thorn trees
For pleasure here and there.

Is any man so daring
As dig them up in spite?
He shall find the thornies set
In his bed at night.

Up the airy mountain
Down the rushy glen,
We dare n't go a-hunting,
For fear of little men;

Wee folk, good folk,
Trooping all together;
Green jacket, red cap,
And white owl's feather.

Seamus Heaney Poem

“Human beings suffer,

They torture one another,

They get hurt and get hard.

No poem or play or song

Can fully right a wrong

Inflicted and endured.

The innocent in gaols

Beat on their bars together.

A hunger-striker's father

Stands in the graveyard dumb.

The police widow in veils

Faints at the funeral home.

History says, don't hope

On this side of the grave.

But then, once in a lifetime

The longed-for tidal wave

Of justice can rise up,

And hope and history rhyme.

So hope for a great sea-change

On the far side of revenge.

Believe that further shore

Is reachable from here.

Believe in miracle

And cures and healing wells.

Call miracle self-healing:

The utter, self-revealing

Double-take of feeling.

If there's fire on the mountain

Or lightning and storm

And a god speaks from the sky

That means someone is hearing

The outcry and the birth-cry

Of new life at its term.” 

― Seamus Heaney

Celtic Life and Celtic Marketplace Lombard, Chicago

Delighted to be interviewed by Celtic Life Magazine for the Celtic Marketplace Show in Chicago. Woo!

See interview here or text below:


"All good things must come to an end, and thus it is for the Celtic Marketplace Trade Show in Lombard, Il, which wraps up today. What better way to say goodbye than with Jennifer Muldowney, whose Dublin-based company Farewell Celtic Ashes offers a range of unique Irish memorial products to connect the Irish American community with their ancestry and loved ones. Read more here!

What is your own heritage/ethnic background?
I am Irish born and bred! I lived in the States for two years but most of my life I have lived in my hometown – Dublin, Ireland. I would be considered very ‘Irish looking’ too so I can’t deny my background. Although red hair is associated with Irish people, most of us are made up of dark hair, blue eyes and pale white skin.

How did you get involved with the business?
So the idea of my business of Irish cremation jewelry started when I lived in the States and my grandmother passed away. I couldn’t get home for her funeral. I was devastated. She had given me a miraculous medal when I was younger as most Irish Catholic grandmothers did to keep us safe and pure. I began to wear it as my way to keep her close and watching over me. However I started getting comments and attention about it that I didn’t want. This drove me to look for something more intimate. When my dog passed away four years ago, we got her cremated and my mother said she wanted her buried with her when she died. I was sad because I wanted to have a piece of my dog too as I considered her my pet. So these two experiences led me to Farewell Celtic Ashes. There are two types of piece – fused and encased. Fused pieces involve using some cremated remains and fusing them with glass and colour if requested. The ashes create a beautiful cloud like affect within the glass. The encased collection is a little more obvious as you can see the ashes moving around within the glass, almost like an hourglass.

Are these all the same reasons that you keep doing what you do?
Absolutely. I couldn’t do what I do without emotion, empathy and a love of the original concept. I understand people’s grief, their need for something to hold onto and the connection they want to maintain, even in death. I have written a book on funeral planning in Ireland called Say Farewell Your Way and it is through researching the book and working with people planning their own funerals or who are dealing with a death that I have heard truly amazing stories, seen amazing acts of human kindness and shared beautiful memories. This drives me forward.

What are the challenges?
The challenges in Ireland is the funeral industry and the fear of trying something new and different. Americans are very different to work with in terms of that as they are more open to new ideas and concepts. Is cremation jewelry a little bit creepy and morbid? Maybe, it depends how you look at it. I like to think it gives everyone an opportunity to keep a part of someone they love with them always. It also works well if family and friends live all across the globe and so will not have a chance to visit a burial site on a regular basis. Also if someone’s last wish was to have their ashes scattered, it can be hard not to have some place to ‘speak to’ the deceased. Cremation jewelry helps with that.

What are the rewards?
Wow, the rewards for me are definitely the stories I hear and knowing that each and every one of my customers walks away with a completely unique Irish memorial piece that means the world to them.

Who is your typical client?
I wish I had a typical one! I don’t. Age, race, sex, nationality are all massively varied in what I do because death and therefore grief does not discriminate.

What are your core products?
The fused and encased glass pendants although we regularly do bespoke pieces for people.

What distinguishes you from you competition?

What distinguishes us is our customer service and attitude and the fact that we are Irish – when you send a us the small piece of your loved one’s ashes – we only use a small piece to make the pendent so we will scatter the remaining ashes in Ireland, that way, a little piece Grandad (or whoever) gets to go back home tot he motherland.

What are your future plans for the business?
I have written a book about funeral planning in Ireland – Say Farewell Your Way and I have 3/4 more books up in my head that I would like to start getting out over the next 5 years. One will very much be of benefit to the Irish Diaspora worldwide. With regards the jewelry we are currently working on a men’s bracelet and a Christmas piece. There will be more products added to the lines over the next year. We have also launched a pet specific website – rainbowbridge-memorials.com

How has the Celtic marketplace evolved in recent years?
This is my first year at Lombard but it is an excellently run show so I look forward to coming back and seeing how it evolves from now on!

Why is Lombard an important event for you?
I did Secaucus in April and so Lombard seemed like an obvious follow up event for us but I really like the intimacy of the show – its a lot smaller than Secaucus.

Are we doing enough to preserve and promote Celtic culture generally?
I think we could all do a lot more. There are some fabulous business ideas out there and I know there are some groups that really push the Celtic culture but I think there is always room for improvement.

What can we be doing better?
That’s a tough question especially because I am still getting to know the various Celtic publications, events, trade shows, products and services so maybe come back to me on that next year!!

www.celtic-ashes.com"

Before I Die - Dublin's Bucket List

Mount Jerome

On 19 September 1836 Mount Jerome Cemetery, Dublin, Ireland was consecrated.

Reverend Stephen Jerome, then vicar of St. Kevin's Parish gave the cemetery its namesake through the estate he established in his own name.

Mount Jerome was the first privately owned cemetery in Ireland, when it first opened in 1836.

It got a famous mention in James Joyce's Ulysses, as it was the burial ground for many of Dublin's Protestants. It was not until the 1920's that the first Catholic burials took place there.

"Then Mount Jerome for the protestants. 

Funerals all over the world everywhere every minute. 

Shovelling them under by the cartload doublequick. 

Thousands every hour. Too many in the world."

In Mount Jerome Cemetery Dublin there is a monument in memoriam to the Wilde family - family of Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde or as we all know him - Oscar Wilde, Irish writer and poet. After writing in different formats throughout the 1880s, he went on to become one of London's most beloved and popular playwrights in the early 1890s.

"To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.” - Oscar Wilde

Other people of note buried there include Thomas Davis, Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, John Millington Synge, Jack B. Yeats, Sir William Rowan Hamilton and George Petrie.

Invitation to the Irish Showcase Secaucus

Milo O’Shea

http://irishphotoarchive.blogspot.ie/2012/11/milo-oshea.html

Irish actor Milo O’Shea passed away in New York last night (2 June 1926 – 2 April 2013).

Born and raised in Dublin, the veteran actor went to the Christian Brothers school in Synge Street.

O’Shea lived in New York, where he moved in 1976.

Described by Minister for Arts Jimmy Deenihan as “a giant of stage and screen” .
“During his career in theatre and film, both at home and abroad, he is remembered for the quality of his performances in a range of challenging and often ground-breaking roles”


Notable Roles:

• Leopold Bloom in the 1967 film adaptation of James Joyce's Ulysses in 1967
• Neil Jordan’s 1997 film The Butcher Boy
• 1968 Romeo and Juliet 
• American sitcom Cheers
• 1960s BBC sitcom Me Mammy 
• US comedy Frasier 
• US political drama the West Wing
• Roger Vadim's movie Barbarella as a mad scientist
• Most recently in Irish comedy The Matchmaker

He is survived by his wife the actress Kitty Sullivan, his sons - Colm, Steven and his three grandchildren. He was previously married to Glenroe actor Maureen Toal who died last year but couple divorced in 1974.

Celtic Ashes

What if your loved one's last wish was to have their ashes scattered somewhere?

The risk of cremation is that there can often be nowhere to go to 'speak to' the deceased or say prayers or pause for thought. With cremation jewelry a piece of your loved one will always be with you when and where you need them most.

Cremation Jewelry can be a great way to honor the deceased and help family members to remember them, especially if everyone lives in different countries all over the world.

Irish Heritage? A Celtic Connection? Born in Ireland? Loved everything Irish? Loved Boyzone? Wanted to visit Ireland?

Whatever the deceased's connection was to Ireland - sending their ashes to an Irish company who will look after them and return to you a beautiful memorial keepsake to forever hold close might seem like a nice idea.

For more information Check out www.celtic-ashes.com