Dr Ken Murray "doctors die, they don't die like the rest of us"

An article by Dr. Ken Murray, an American general practitioner:

"It's not a frequent topic of discussion, but doctors die, too. And they don't die like the rest of us.

What's unusual about them is not how much treatment they get compared to most Americans, but how little. For all the time they spend fending off the deaths of others, they tend to be fairly serene when faced with death themselves. They know exactly what is going to happen, they know the choices, and they generally have access to any sort of medical care they could want. But they go gently.

 Of course, doctors don't want to die; they want to live. But they know enough about modern medicine to know its limits. And they know enough about death to know what all people fear most: dying in pain, and dying alone. They've talked about this with their families. They want to be sure, when the time comes, that no heroic measures will happen - that they will never experience, during their last moments on earth, someone breaking their ribs in an attempt to resuscitate them with CPR [cardio pulmonary resuscitation] (that's what happens if CPR is done right).

Almost all medical professionals have seen what we call "futile care" being performed on people. That's when doctors bring the cutting edge of technology to bear on a grievously ill person near the end of life. The patient will get cut open, perforated with tubes, hooked up to machines, and assaulted with drugs.

Some medical personnel wear medallions stamped "NO CODE" to tell physicians not to perform CPR on them. I have even seen it as a tattoo. To administer medical care that makes people suffer is anguishing. Physicians are trained to gather information without revealing any of their own feelings, but in private, among fellow doctors, they'll vent. "How can anyone do that to their family members?" they'll ask. I suspect it's one reason physicians have higher rates of ... depression than professionals in most other fields."

Beautifully imperfect

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

20th Anniversary

Jacqueline Lee "Jackie" Bouvier Kennedy Onassis July 28, 1929 – May 19, 1994 

She was wife of the 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy until his assassination in 1963. Five years later she married Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis until his death in 1975. 

On that fateful day - November 22 1963 the First Lady heard what she thought to be a motorcycle backfiring but it was gunshots. The final shot struck the President in the head.

At Dallas' Parkland Hospital, she went to be by her husband's side and when a nurse stopped her and attempted to bar the door to prevent her from entering, she persisted saying "I want to be there when he dies".

Later, when his body was in a casket, she removed her wedding ring and put it onto the President's finger saying "Now I have nothing left."

 After the president's death, she regretted having washed the blood off her face and hands and continued to wear the now infamous blood-stained pink chanel suit as she went on board Air Force One and President Johnson took the oath of office saying "I want them to see what they have done to Jack."

Jackie took an active role in planning the details of her husband's state funeral, which was based on Abraham Lincoln's. The service was held at Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle, Washington D.C. and the burial at Arlington National Cemetery where the widow lit the eternal flame (that just recently came to Ireland) at the gravesite - a flame that had been created at her request.

On October 20, 1968, mere months after Robert F Kennedy's assassination, she married Aristotle Socrates Onassis who was able to provide the privacy and security she sought for herself and her children.

Jackie Kennedy-Onassis' funeral was held on May 23, 1994 where her son John described three of her greatest attributes as the love of words, the bonds of home and family, and the spirit of adventure. She was buried alongside first husband and President Kennedy, their son Patrick, and their stillborn daughter Arabella at Arlington National Cemetery Virginia.

Her Children:

• Arabella Kennedy - August 23 1956 - Stillborn 
• Caroline Bouvier Kennedy - November 27, 1957 - Caroline is the last surviving child of JFK and Jackie and she has two daughters and a son. 
• John Fitzgerald "John-John" Kennedy, Jr. - November 25, 1960 - July 16, 1999 - Married to Carolyn Jeanne Bessette. They died in a plane crash, along with Carolyn's sister in a plane piloted by Kennedy. 
• Patrick Bouvier Kennedy - August 7, 1963 - August 9, 1963 - Died from infant respiratory distress syndrome. Born over 5 weeks premature his lungs hadn't fully developed.

Hot dogs in a cemetery?!

Look Up

ICCFA 2014

The ICCFA All Star Annual Convention and Exposition April 8-11 2014, Las Vegas, Nevada.
Held in the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino.

There was a great representation from the Irish contingent - Farewell Celtic Ashes, Mourning Cross, and Eco Legacy.

We had a great time in Vegas mingling with all the 'Stars' of the funeral industry.

Memorial Payment Solutions offer funeral directors new options in terms of payment for at need clients.  The offer a home's customers quick and easy payment options including a single stop for credit card processing, check (cheque) verification, insurance assignments and short term loans. As the industry moves away from the traditional sources of revenue, the cost of money has become more and more of an issue. Although these guys are not YET available to funeral homes in Ireland the guys are currently working on European links.

The Harbeson Group or the Funeral Commander as he likes to be referred to is a fun southern guy with a big imagination for the industry and an even bigger personality. He has linked up with our very own Kate Hamilton of Mourning Cross Bereavement Pins and DNA Memorial which is a Canadian business. They specialize in storing a person’s DNA indefinitely offering regulated DNA storage and also the ability for genetic research and information.

Tribute Art by Wyland is a new line of bronze sculptures by renowned marine life artist Robert Wyland. They are remembrance sculptures that house the ashes of a loved one inside a beautiful art sculpture and will certainly appeal to over 500,000 collectors of Wyland's artwork.

Other 'stars' to note included Billion Graves who are trying to help future generations to locate there family. It sounded like the google of the grave world and they had the cutest little dog called Solomen at their booth so they got my vote!

Farewell Pet Funeral Kit robbed our name - how dare they?! ;-) but I liked their idea - it is a casket or urn kit for burying pets with love and involving the family creatively. It seemed especially designed for children with the very simplistic literature, inclusion of workbooks, pots of paint and brushes. It reminded me of baby school but I think this is great idea for getting children to deal with their grief in the early years which will help when they have to come to terms with human loss as they grow up.

And lastly there was a development from Meadow Hill Corp who brought us thumbies, now brings a TFScanner which allows funeral directors to easily fingerprint all of the deceased (or living) in a matter of seconds without ink. This can be used for thumbie memorials or identifying the body.

All in all the conference was a success all round with lots other tidbits in between like Archie Griffin opening the show and Stedman Graham doing a motivating key note speech but for me one of the biggest highlights was the supply of food and drink throughout the exhibiting hours which made for a  more happy exhibiting force and a more plentiful audience seeing as they didn't have to sneak out for lunch every day.

The Disney Files - Howard Ashman

Howard Elliott Ashman (May 17, 1950 – March 14, 1991)

Referred to as "Another Walt (Disney)" by Walt's brother Roy, Howard Ashman is more regularly dubbed one of Disney's Heroes of the 20th Century.

A phenomenal American playwright and lyricist Ashman first studied at Boston University and Indiana University.

His work partner in crime at Disney, Alan Menken composed the music while Howard wrote the lyrics.

Most notable award winning films/songs:

• The Little Mermaid - 'Part of Your World', 'Kiss the Girl', 'Poor Unfortunate Souls', and 'Under the Sea'
• Beauty and the Beast - 'Be Our Guest', 'Gaston', and 'Beauty and the Beast' and also a deleted song 'Human Again' 
• Aladdin - 'Arabian Nights', 'Prince Ali', 'Friend Like Me', and also a deleted song 'Proud of Your Boy'

Plagued by tragedy for a number of years and trying to find his way in a world that didn't altogether open its arms to gay men, Ashman died of AIDS/HIV in 1991 aged 40. Between 1969 and 1983 Howard lost two boyfriends to the disease. Attempting to deal with his grief, he wanted to leave New York and it was then that Disney fortuitously called him up and he began visiting LA for a number of weeks and started putting his new 'Disney money' into building his dream home with new partner Bill. In March 1987 he found 'white patches' on his mouth, went to the hospital and was diagnosed with HIV. He refused to publicise the disease to his colleagues and pushed on with his hectic work schedule of both 'Aladdin' and 'Beauty and the Beast' but after 'The Little Mermaid's success and release, his health deteriorated. From his deathbed, he wrote the lyrics for the songs from Beauty and the Beast.

Coaching Jodi Benson for Part of Your World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywhRHAArQ34

On March 10, 1991, after the Disney animators had their first screening for Beauty and the Beast (which was an huge success) they visited Howard in the hospital where, his mother showed them that he was wearing a Beauty and the Beast sweatshirt in support. He died 4 days later. The film Beauty and the Beast is dedicated to him: "To our friend Howard, who gave a mermaid her voice and a beast his soul, we will be forever grateful. Howard Ashman 1950–1991."

Another random fact: he is the lyricist of "Codinome Beija-Flor" and "O Tempo Não Para", two of the biggest hits of the Brazilian rock singer Cazuza, who also died of AIDS, 9 months before Howard in 1990.